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#1 2009-08-28 19:11:16

Sonic the hedgehog
Member
Registered: 2008-09-03
Posts: 52

The Panda

A panda walks into a bar and has a hamburger, after he eats he pulls out a gun and shoots everyone in the room, he then leaves, a bystander who saw what the panda had done runs after the panda and asks him "Why did you do that?".
The panda pulls out a dictunary,looks up "Panda", and then replys "It says here that a pana eats, shoots and leaves".roflol

Last edited by Sonic the hedgehog (2009-08-28 19:12:03)


I would not want to be a politician... Let me tell you this: If I was campaigning, and I go against my opponent and he started attacking my character, and I leap over the table and choke him unconscious, would that help my campaign? --Chuck Norris--

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#2 2009-08-28 22:02:25

phrontister
Real Member
From: The Land of Tomorrow
Registered: 2009-07-12
Posts: 3,848

Re: The Panda

I like that! smile

Reminds me of "Residents refuse to go into the bins", which is missing the apostrophe that would give it the intended meaning...and at the same time change the pronunciation of one of the words.

"Eats, Shoots & Leaves"...I have that book. Here are images from it: the cover page and the panda story.

View Image: Panda-Text.jpg View Image: Panda-cover.jpg

Last edited by phrontister (2009-08-29 23:46:58)


"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

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#3 2009-08-29 00:39:18

soroban
Member
Registered: 2007-03-09
Posts: 451

Re: The Panda

.


. . . .


. . .



. .

. . . . . . . .

.

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#4 2009-08-29 02:00:24

Identity
Member
Registered: 2007-04-18
Posts: 934

Re: The Panda

phrontister wrote:

I like that! smile

Reminds me of "Residents refuse to go into the bins", which is missing the apostrophy that would give it the intended meaning...and at the same time change the pronunciation of one of the words.

"Eats, Shoots & Leaves"...I have that book. Here are images from it: the cover page and the panda story.

Ah Eats shoots and Leaves, I had to study that book as part of English Language, and I thoroughly disliked it smile

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#5 2009-08-29 02:49:02

phrontister
Real Member
From: The Land of Tomorrow
Registered: 2009-07-12
Posts: 3,848

Re: The Panda

Identity wrote:

...I had to study that book as part of English Language, and I thoroughly disliked it smile

I thought it was very good...the author's witty style and her informative content. But I didn't have to study the book, which can make all the difference.

I disliked Thomas Hardy's "The Mayor of Casterbridge" as a compulsory school novel, but have since read many other books of his and enjoyed them so much that I reread TMoC, this time around thoroughly enjoying it and feeling quite moved by the tragic tale.

Last edited by phrontister (2009-09-29 20:26:21)


"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

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#6 2009-08-29 13:01:59

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,847

Re: The Panda

lol Thats pretty good, Sonic! & nice puns, soroban.


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#7 2009-08-29 15:09:45

phrontister
Real Member
From: The Land of Tomorrow
Registered: 2009-07-12
Posts: 3,848

Re: The Panda

Hi soroban,

Great triple pun! smile

This altered version has a quadruple pun:

Three brothers left home to establish a cattle ranch out east. They could not think of an appropriate name for the ranch and called their father back home, who suggested the name “Focus”...for that’s “where the sun’s rays meet” ("sons raise meat").

When their father died the name took on added significance for them, through “where the morning sun’s rays meet” ("mourning sons raise meat").


"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

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#8 2009-08-29 16:27:35

soroban
Member
Registered: 2007-03-09
Posts: 451

Re: The Panda

.
Hello, phrontister!

A quadruple pun . . . Fantastic!

Thank you!
.

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#9 2009-08-30 22:23:15

phrontister
Real Member
From: The Land of Tomorrow
Registered: 2009-07-12
Posts: 3,848

Re: The Panda

Reminds me of "Residents refuse to go into the bins", which is missing the apostrophe that would give it the intended meaning...and at the same time change the pronunciation of one of the words.

Any takers...? That missing fly-spot makes the world of difference!

I heard that one on the radio during a discussion about the much-misused/misunderstood/abused/forgotten apostrophe. The 'greengrocer's apostrophe' (one of my pet hates) was also mentioned, of course.


"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

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#10 2009-09-09 05:56:33

Sonic the hedgehog
Member
Registered: 2008-09-03
Posts: 52

Re: The Panda

Tigeree wrote:

lol Thats pretty good, Sonic! & nice puns, soroban.

Thanks!


I would not want to be a politician... Let me tell you this: If I was campaigning, and I go against my opponent and he started attacking my character, and I leap over the table and choke him unconscious, would that help my campaign? --Chuck Norris--

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#11 2009-09-11 22:56:59

soroban
Member
Registered: 2007-03-09
Posts: 451

Re: The Panda

. .

. .

.

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#12 2009-09-17 03:55:33

phrontister
Real Member
From: The Land of Tomorrow
Registered: 2009-07-12
Posts: 3,848

Re: The Panda

They're two excellent examples of ambiguity, soroban!

A bit like optical illusions that have two interpretations...after you see one the other may not be immediately apparent.


"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

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#13 2009-10-02 21:29:40

Sonic the hedgehog
Member
Registered: 2008-09-03
Posts: 52

Re: The Panda

Please send more! I'm enjoying these!


I would not want to be a politician... Let me tell you this: If I was campaigning, and I go against my opponent and he started attacking my character, and I leap over the table and choke him unconscious, would that help my campaign? --Chuck Norris--

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#14 2009-10-03 18:50:52

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,847

Re: The Panda

So ambiguous. rolleyes .... lol


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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