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**ZHero****Real Member**- Registered: 2008-06-08
- Posts: 1,889

A mathematician, along with his engineer friend, attends to a guest lecture on geometry in fifteen dimensions!

After they're through with it...

Mathematician: Wasn't that brilliant!?

Engineer: Yuck! My head's spinning! How do you develop any intuition for a fifteen dimensional space?

Mathematician: Well.. Its easy. I visualize the situation into an arbitrary N-dimensional space and then put N=15 !!!

*Last edited by ZHero (2008-07-03 12:48:19)*

If two or more thoughts intersect, there has to be a point!

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**ZHero****Real Member**- Registered: 2008-06-08
- Posts: 1,889

Q: what did the mathematician call his dog?

A: CAUCHY! Because it left a RESIDUE at every POLE!!

If two or more thoughts intersect, there has to be a point!

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**Ricky****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-12-04
- Posts: 3,791

A math professor is giving a lecture when he writes something on the board, says, "This is immediately obvious." He then turns to face his students, and upon seeing the blank stares on their faces, he turns back to the board. He starts staring at the board in deep thought. After a few minutes of dead silence, just when it was getting unbearable, he turns back to the class and says, "Yea, it is immediately obvious."

"In the real world, this would be a problem. But in mathematics, we can just define a place where this problem doesn't exist. So we'll go ahead and do that now..."

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**ZHero****Real Member**- Registered: 2008-06-08
- Posts: 1,889

Once there's this Mathematician who falls in love with his beautiful neighbor Maria...

Mathematician: Maria, I Love You!

Maria: Oh! Nothing special about it. Everybody says so. Can YOU prove it?

Mathematician: Of course! Let x & y be two non zero positive integers........!

And the girl faints.....

If two or more thoughts intersect, there has to be a point!

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**ZHero****Real Member**- Registered: 2008-06-08
- Posts: 1,889

A mathematician claimed to have trained his dog the BASIC MATHS! The dog'd tell the answer by barking as many times and would lift the 'right leg for +ve' & 'left leg for a -ve' number!

A group of 'dog specialists' put the dog to a small test for verification of the claim..

1st spclst: "How much is 2*3?"

Dog (lifts his right leg): "bhow, bhow, bhow, bhow, bhow, bhow!"

The spclst is pleased.

2nd spclst: "How much do you get if you subtract 10 from 7?"

Dog (lifts his left leg): "bhow, bhow, bhow!"

2nd spclst is amazed too.

3rd spclst: "If x+y=2 & x-y=8 then what are the values of x & y respectively?"

The dog thinks for a while; lifts his right leg: "bhow, bhow, bhow, bhow, bhow!" Then switches the leg: "bhow, bhow, bhow!"

Third one is almost shocked at this!

The final spclst thinks to make it really tough for the dog: "How much is 2 divided by 0?"

Dog (after a considerable thought): "You IDIOT! Division by 0 is NOT DEFINED!!"

Don't know what happened of the dog, but the specialists surely would have all fainted!!

If two or more thoughts intersect, there has to be a point!

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**ZHero****Real Member**- Registered: 2008-06-08
- Posts: 1,889

A beautiful lady goes to a doctor for some physical examination.

After an hour long of diagnosis...

Doc: "Well, you have acute anemia!"

Lady (shyly): "Thanks for the compliment doctor! And what is the disease??"

Please, do leave comments/post good jokes!!

Thanks!

*Last edited by ZHero (2008-07-06 07:10:46)*

If two or more thoughts intersect, there has to be a point!

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**ZHero****Real Member**- Registered: 2008-06-08
- Posts: 1,889

A man was playing chess with his dog when suddenly he's caught upon by his friend with suprise..

His friend: Wow! This seems to be a real 'Intelligent' dog.. Right?

Man: Mmmm.. Not quite. I've only won 4 out of 5 games!!

*Last edited by ZHero (2008-07-08 11:08:50)*

If two or more thoughts intersect, there has to be a point!

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**ZHero****Real Member**- Registered: 2008-06-08
- Posts: 1,889

It was b'day of Mary's boyfriend John. She was too conscious of giving him a nice present that would always remind him of her.

So.. She bought a 'Talking Parakeet', taught it to speak 'John, I Love You!' and presented it to her boyfriend.

After two days, she called him and asked..

Mary: How did you like the bird?

John: Oh that parrot? T'was very tasty! Especially the leg part!

If two or more thoughts intersect, there has to be a point!

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**ZHero****Real Member**- Registered: 2008-06-08
- Posts: 1,889

Interviewer: Imagine you're walking through a jungle and suddenly you come across a Lion and a Chimpanzee. Would you rather the Lion eat you or the Chimpanzee eat you?

Interviewee: I'd rather the Lion eat the Chimpanzee!!

*Last edited by ZHero (2008-07-28 00:03:17)*

If two or more thoughts intersect, there has to be a point!

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**ZHero****Real Member**- Registered: 2008-06-08
- Posts: 1,889

A Mathematician, a Programmer and an Electrical Engineer were on death row waiting to go in the electric chair.

The Mathematician was brought forward first. "Do you have anything you want to say? asked the executioner, strapping him in.

Yes, replied the Mathematician "π has been the most amazing number i've seen in my life!". "Wow?" said the executioner and flicked the switch and nothing happened. Under State law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner is to be released, so the Mathematician was released.

Then the Programmer was brought forward. Do you have anything you want to say?

Yes, there are too many bugs in your prison.

"Hemipterans" and the executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the Programmer was released.

Then the Electrical Engineer was brought forward. Do you have anything you want to say? asked the executioner.

Yes, replied he. If you swap the red and the blue wires over, you might make this thing work.

If two or more thoughts intersect, there has to be a point!

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**Howardroark****Member**- Registered: 2010-10-10
- Posts: 382

Hi Zhero,

Nice jokes.. I liked the last one ..

I come from a civilization which has given the world the number 0..

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