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## #1 2018-02-07 03:02:06

ganesh
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 26,642

### Mathematics one-liners

Q: Why didn't the Romans find algebra very challenging? A: Because X was always 10.
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Q: What is a bird's favorite type of math? A: Owl-gebra.
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Q: Why do plants hate math? A: Because it gives them square roots.
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Q: What do you call a destroyed angle? A: A Rect-angle.
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Q. What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a clock? A. Arithma-ticks!
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Q: What happened to the indeterminate form that got sick? A: It had to go to L'Hospital.
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Q: Why didn't Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? A: It was too cubed.
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Q: Which triangles are the coldest? A: Ice-sosceles triangles.
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Q: Who invented the Round Table? A: Sir Cumference.
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Q: Why is Ms. Radian such a good reporter? A: She covers the story from every angle.
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Q: Have you heard the latest statistics joke? A: Probably!
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Q: Why shouldn't you argue with a decimal? A: Decimals always have a point.
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It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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## #2 2018-02-07 03:44:29

Alg Num Theory
Member
Registered: 2017-11-24
Posts: 339
Website

### Re: Mathematics one-liners

A deep one:

Q: How do you make an ideal principal?

(You may not get it if you aren’t familiar with principal ideals in ring theory.)

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## #3 2018-02-07 14:22:41

ganesh
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 26,642

### Re: Mathematics one-liners

Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin.
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Q: How does a ghost solve quadratic equations? A: By completing the scare.
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Q: How do you keep warm in a square room? A: You go into the corner, where it is always 90 degrees.
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Q: What’s the king of the pencil case? A: The ruler.
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Q: What US state has the most maths teachers? A: Mathachussets.
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Q: Which tables do you not have to learn? A: Dinner tables.
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Q: Why did the math book get poor grades? A: It never did it’s own work.
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Q: How do you make one vanish? A: Add a ‘g’ to the beginning and it’s gone!
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Q: What number can only go up? A: Your age.
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Q:  What did the spelling book say to the math book? A: I know I can count on you.
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It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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## #4 2018-02-07 15:08:21

Alg Num Theory
Member
Registered: 2017-11-24
Posts: 339
Website

### Re: Mathematics one-liners

Q: Why do geometers never get lost?
A: Because they can use compasses.
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Q: How did the awkward mathematician go off?
A: At a tangent.

Last edited by Alg Num Theory (2018-02-07 15:30:43)

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## #5 2018-03-04 18:19:29

ganesh
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 26,642

### Re: Mathematics one-liners

Q: What do you call more than one L? A: A Parallel!
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Q: What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? A: Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
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Q. What's the difference between a diameter and a radius? A. A Radius!
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Q: How do deaf mathematicians communicate? A: They use sine language!
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Q: How do you make one vanish? A: Add a 'g' to the beginning and it's gone!
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Q: What polygon is also a card trick? A: Decagon!
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Q: What do you call it when a mathematician's parrot hasn't been fed? A: Poly"no meal"!
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Q: What's yellow and imaginary? A: The square-root of negative banana!
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It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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## #6 2018-03-06 01:32:54

Alg Num Theory
Member
Registered: 2017-11-24
Posts: 339
Website

### Re: Mathematics one-liners

Q: What music do mathematical lumberjacks listen to?
A: Logger-rhythm & blues.

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## #7 2018-03-06 03:01:25

ganesh
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 26,642

### Re: Mathematics one-liners

Q: What do you call a number that can’t keep still? A: A roamin’ numeral.
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Q: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? A: He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
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Q: What do you call an angle that is adorable? A: Acute angle!
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Q: Why didn't Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? A: It was too cubed!
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Q. What tool do you use in mathematics? A. Multi-plyers.
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Q: Why shouldn't you argue with a decimal? A: Decimals always have a point.
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Q: How does one insult a mathematician? A: Tell them that their brain is smaller than any ε > 0.

Q: What did 2 say to 4 after 2 beat him in a race? A: I'm 2 Fast 4 U!
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It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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