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#1 2006-02-19 19:16:26

ganesh
Moderator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 15,147

Oneliners

1. All generalizations are false, including this one.

2. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

3. Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

4. Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.

5. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

6. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

7. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

8. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

9. Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

10. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

11. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

12. Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

13. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

14. Why is abbreviation such a long word?

15. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.


Character is who you are when no one is looking.

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#2 2006-02-19 19:19:25

justlookingforthemoment
Moderator
Registered: 2005-05-26
Posts: 2,161

Re: Oneliners

Those are funny, ganesh!

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#3 2006-02-19 20:22:53

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,848

Re: Oneliners

ha ha ha smile


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#4 2006-02-20 08:54:16

Ricky
Moderator
Registered: 2005-12-04
Posts: 3,791

Re: Oneliners

If you ever want to hear the best one liners, you have to listen to Steven Wright:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
Ever notice how irons have a setting for PERMANENT press? I don't get it...
I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road; I don't know how I got there.
How young can you die of old age?
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out...
I filled the humidifier with wax and left it on. Now everything in my house is shiny.

You can find more at http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Steven_Wright


"In the real world, this would be a problem.  But in mathematics, we can just define a place where this problem doesn't exist.  So we'll go ahead and do that now..."

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#5 2006-02-20 19:31:26

darthradius
Member
Registered: 2005-11-28
Posts: 97

Re: Oneliners

I've never heard of Steven Wright, but I love him!.....
Thanks Ricky...those are right up my alley.....
ROFLMAO


The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.
                                                             -Bertrand Russell

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