1. All generalizations are false, including this one.

2. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

3. Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

4. Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.

5. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

6. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

7. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

8. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

9. Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

10. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

11. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

12. Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

13. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

14. Why is abbreviation such a long word?

15. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.