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#1 2005-04-02 05:40:02

Roraborealis
Member
Registered: 2005-03-17
Posts: 1,594

The Duck

I heard this today.

A duck walks into a pub. He says to the barman: "Got any fish?" The barman says, "No! This is a pub. Sorry, we don't have fish here. Try the fish market." The duck goes "Oh," and walks off.
The next day, the duck walks back into the pub and says: "Got any fish?" The barman goes, "I'm sure you came in yesterday! Don't you remember what I said? I ain't got any fish, alright?" The duck goes "Oh," and walks off.
The day after that, the duck returns and goes: "Got any fish?" The barman says: "Look, I haven't got any fish! This is a pub, for goodness sake! Now get lost!" The duck goes, "Oh," and walks off.
The next day the duck enters the pub yet again and says: "Got any fish?" The barman says: "If you say that to me ever again, I'LL NAIL YOUR FEET TO MY CEILING!" The duck goes, "Oh," and walks off.
The next day, the duck goes back into the pub. He says: "Got any nails?" The barman says, "No, why would we?" Then the duck goes: "Got any fish?"


School is practice for the future. Practice makes perfect. But - nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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#2 2005-04-02 10:06:26

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,555

Re: The Duck

Hahahaha. Smart duck roll


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

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#3 2005-04-04 21:04:08

Roraborealis
Member
Registered: 2005-03-17
Posts: 1,594

Re: The Duck

Yep.


School is practice for the future. Practice makes perfect. But - nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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#4 2005-04-05 12:46:36

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: The Duck

Or... You could have;
A duck walks into a post office and says; "Do you have any grain?"
A puzzled postmans says, "No, this is a post office."
The duck goes off. Next day, duck comes back and asks again. The postman is quite irritated this tme, "No! We have no grain."
This carries on for a few days until the postman cracks. "No! Darn it! We have no grain! Ask again and I'll nail your beak to the counter!"
So, the duck waddles off.

The Duck returns the next day and asks; "Do you have any nails?"
Confused, the postman replies, "Er.. No.."
Duck says, "Do you have any Grain?"


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

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#5 2005-04-07 04:01:57

Roraborealis
Member
Registered: 2005-03-17
Posts: 1,594

Re: The Duck

I suppose I could, but that's not how I heard it, I'm afraid.


School is practice for the future. Practice makes perfect. But - nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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#6 2005-04-07 20:49:15

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,555

Re: The Duck

A duck walks into the Library and says "Got Any Books?". The Librarian says "Yeah" and lends her a book.
An hour later the Duck brings the book back and says "Got Any Other Books?" The Librarian says "Yeah" and lends her another book.
This goes on all day until eventually the Librarian says "OK, that's enough, why are you always asking for books and then just bring them back an hour later?"

"Well", says the Duck, I keep taking them to Frog, and every time he just says "Read-It!".


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

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#7 2005-04-07 22:08:38

Mr T
Member
Registered: 2005-03-30
Posts: 1,012

Re: The Duck

how mature from u all


I come back stronger than a powered-up Pac-Man big_smile
I bought a large popcorn @ the cinema the other day, it was pretty big...some might even say it was "large
cool Fatboy Slim is a Legend cool

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#8 2005-04-07 22:22:34

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,555

Re: The Duck

Is this the guy whose favorite phrase is " Foo' " ?


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

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#9 2005-04-07 23:50:24

Roraborealis
Member
Registered: 2005-03-17
Posts: 1,594

Re: The Duck

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Did you just make that up? It's so funny!


School is practice for the future. Practice makes perfect. But - nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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#10 2005-04-09 11:46:45

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: The Duck

"I pity the foo' who wears mah Jewellary" </Mr.T>

Yea... Mr. T was cool. He was the black man with a lot Jewellary who beat up Rocky and then some song inspiried Rocky to beat the bejesus out of Mr. T.

Rocky V was funny, with some russian guy.

Then again, this has nothing to do with maths or jokes... So....er... 5+5 =11!


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

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#11 2005-04-09 11:53:24

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,555

Re: The Duck

mr-t.jpg


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

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#12 2005-04-09 11:55:43

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: The Duck

Looks like you failed in actually linking to an acutal image there. <Manical laughter>


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

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#13 2005-04-09 11:56:54

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,555

Re: The Duck

Just finding the best one!


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

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#14 2005-04-09 11:58:57

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: The Duck

Ah! Well, that haircut certainly looks like it's been stuck on in paint!
And look! The Jewellary! He was a metal detectors worst nightmare and a Jewellers best customer.


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

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#15 2005-04-09 12:07:12

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,555

Re: The Duck

They must have cut out the background in a hurry. Does look like they used a pair of scissors.


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

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#16 2005-04-09 12:10:24

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: The Duck

Yes. I hope that's what's happened anyway. Otherwise, I'd seriously be worried about that kind of hair and how it looks.


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

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#17 2005-04-09 21:30:41

Roraborealis
Member
Registered: 2005-03-17
Posts: 1,594

Re: The Duck

Think how long it would have taken to find all that gold....and how much it costed, too.


School is practice for the future. Practice makes perfect. But - nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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#18 2005-04-09 23:43:30

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: The Duck

What you don't know, it's really just rubbish cheap stuff painted gold.


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

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#19 2005-04-10 00:24:48

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,555

Re: The Duck

If it was real gold, he would be running off with it ... or pehaps crawling, as it would be quite heavy.


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

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#20 2005-04-10 01:27:07

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: The Duck

Or he'd be all... 'I'm Mr. T, foo'! I could knock you down with a punch, foo'!'


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

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#21 2005-04-10 02:29:27

Roraborealis
Member
Registered: 2005-03-17
Posts: 1,594

Re: The Duck

He'd get on my nerves.


School is practice for the future. Practice makes perfect. But - nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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#22 2005-04-10 03:51:10

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: The Duck

He gets on everyone's nerves. Why do you think Rocky beat him up at the end? It was nothing to do with the song, Mr. T was all... Foo'!


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

Offline

#23 2005-04-10 05:31:51

Roraborealis
Member
Registered: 2005-03-17
Posts: 1,594

Re: The Duck

Is it meant to be 'fool'?


School is practice for the future. Practice makes perfect. But - nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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#24 2005-04-10 08:02:34

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: The Duck

Yes, but Mr T. pronounces it Foo'.


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

Offline

#25 2005-04-10 09:32:50

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,555

Re: The Duck

"You talkin a whole lotta Jibba-Jabba."


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

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