Math Is Fun Forum / The Duck

Roraborealis · 2005-04-03 03:40:02

I heard this today.

A duck walks into a pub. He says to the barman: "Got any fish?" The barman says, "No! This is a pub. Sorry, we don't have fish here. Try the fish market." The duck goes "Oh," and walks off.
The next day, the duck walks back into the pub and says: "Got any fish?" The barman goes, "I'm sure you came in yesterday! Don't you remember what I said? I ain't got any fish, alright?" The duck goes "Oh," and walks off.
The day after that, the duck returns and goes: "Got any fish?" The barman says: "Look, I haven't got any fish! This is a pub, for goodness sake! Now get lost!" The duck goes, "Oh," and walks off.
The next day the duck enters the pub yet again and says: "Got any fish?" The barman says: "If you say that to me ever again, I'LL NAIL YOUR FEET TO MY CEILING!" The duck goes, "Oh," and walks off.
The next day, the duck goes back into the pub. He says: "Got any nails?" The barman says, "No, why would we?" Then the duck goes: "Got any fish?"

MathsIsFun · 2005-04-03 08:06:26

Hahahaha. Smart duck

Roraborealis · 2005-04-05 19:04:08

Yep.

Zach · 2005-04-06 10:46:36

Or... You could have;
A duck walks into a post office and says; "Do you have any grain?"
A puzzled postmans says, "No, this is a post office."
The duck goes off. Next day, duck comes back and asks again. The postman is quite irritated this tme, "No! We have no grain."
This carries on for a few days until the postman cracks. "No! Darn it! We have no grain! Ask again and I'll nail your beak to the counter!"
So, the duck waddles off.

The Duck returns the next day and asks; "Do you have any nails?"
Confused, the postman replies, "Er.. No.."
Duck says, "Do you have any Grain?"

Roraborealis · 2005-04-08 02:01:57

I suppose I could, but that's not how I heard it, I'm afraid.

MathsIsFun · 2005-04-08 18:49:15

A duck walks into the Library and says "Got Any Books?". The Librarian says "Yeah" and lends her a book.
An hour later the Duck brings the book back and says "Got Any Other Books?" The Librarian says "Yeah" and lends her another book.
This goes on all day until eventually the Librarian says "OK, that's enough, why are you always asking for books and then just bring them back an hour later?"

"Well", says the Duck, I keep taking them to Frog, and every time he just says "Read-It!".

Mr T · 2005-04-08 20:08:38

how mature from u all

MathsIsFun · 2005-04-08 20:22:34

Is this the guy whose favorite phrase is " Foo' " ?

Roraborealis · 2005-04-08 21:50:24

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Did you just make that up? It's so funny!

Zach · 2005-04-10 09:46:45

"I pity the foo' who wears mah Jewellary" </Mr.T>

Yea... Mr. T was cool. He was the black man with a lot Jewellary who beat up Rocky and then some song inspiried Rocky to beat the bejesus out of Mr. T.

Rocky V was funny, with some russian guy.

Then again, this has nothing to do with maths or jokes... So....er... 5+5 =11!

MathsIsFun · 2005-04-10 09:53:24

Zach · 2005-04-10 09:55:43

Looks like you failed in actually linking to an acutal image there. <Manical laughter>

MathsIsFun · 2005-04-10 09:56:54

Just finding the best one!

Zach · 2005-04-10 09:58:57

Ah! Well, that haircut certainly looks like it's been stuck on in paint!
And look! The Jewellary! He was a metal detectors worst nightmare and a Jewellers best customer.

MathsIsFun · 2005-04-10 10:07:12

They must have cut out the background in a hurry. Does look like they used a pair of scissors.

Zach · 2005-04-10 10:10:24

Yes. I hope that's what's happened anyway. Otherwise, I'd seriously be worried about that kind of hair and how it looks.

Roraborealis · 2005-04-10 19:30:41

Think how long it would have taken to find all that gold....and how much it costed, too.

Zach · 2005-04-10 21:43:30

What you don't know, it's really just rubbish cheap stuff painted gold.

MathsIsFun · 2005-04-10 22:24:48

If it was real gold, he would be running off with it ... or pehaps crawling, as it would be quite heavy.

Zach · 2005-04-10 23:27:07

Or he'd be all... 'I'm Mr. T, foo'! I could knock you down with a punch, foo'!'

Roraborealis · 2005-04-11 00:29:27

He'd get on my nerves.

Zach · 2005-04-11 01:51:10

He gets on everyone's nerves. Why do you think Rocky beat him up at the end? It was nothing to do with the song, Mr. T was all... Foo'!

Roraborealis · 2005-04-11 03:31:51

Is it meant to be 'fool'?

Zach · 2005-04-11 06:02:34

Yes, but Mr T. pronounces it Foo'.

MathsIsFun · 2005-04-11 07:32:50

"You talkin a whole lotta Jibba-Jabba."

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#1 2005-04-03 03:40:02

The Duck

#2 2005-04-03 08:06:26

Re: The Duck

#3 2005-04-05 19:04:08

Re: The Duck

#4 2005-04-06 10:46:36

Re: The Duck

#5 2005-04-08 02:01:57

Re: The Duck

#6 2005-04-08 18:49:15

Re: The Duck

#7 2005-04-08 20:08:38

Re: The Duck

#8 2005-04-08 20:22:34

Re: The Duck

#9 2005-04-08 21:50:24

Re: The Duck

#10 2005-04-10 09:46:45

Re: The Duck

#11 2005-04-10 09:53:24

Re: The Duck

#12 2005-04-10 09:55:43

Re: The Duck

#13 2005-04-10 09:56:54

Re: The Duck

#14 2005-04-10 09:58:57

Re: The Duck

#15 2005-04-10 10:07:12

Re: The Duck

#16 2005-04-10 10:10:24

Re: The Duck

#17 2005-04-10 19:30:41

Re: The Duck

#18 2005-04-10 21:43:30

Re: The Duck

#19 2005-04-10 22:24:48

Re: The Duck

#20 2005-04-10 23:27:07

Re: The Duck

#21 2005-04-11 00:29:27

Re: The Duck

#22 2005-04-11 01:51:10

Re: The Duck

#23 2005-04-11 03:31:51

Re: The Duck

#24 2005-04-11 06:02:34

Re: The Duck

#25 2005-04-11 07:32:50

Re: The Duck

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