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#1 2010-01-21 20:03:12

dimitrisrblue
Member
Registered: 2010-01-13
Posts: 1

blonde

hallo everybody
Iam a newbie arround here

So the wellcome post is a joke i found

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

via http://www.funny-city.com

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#2 2010-01-22 05:27:36

soroban
Member
Registered: 2007-03-09
Posts: 451

Re: blonde

.
A blond desperately needs money and resorts to kidnapping.

She goes to a nearby playground and grabs a little boy.

She writes a ransom note:
. . "If you want to see your kid again, put $500 in a paper bag
. . . . . and have him bring it to the first bench in the park.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A blond"

She gives the note to the boy and sends him home.
Then she sat and waited on the first bench.

A half-hour later, they boy arrives with a paper bag.
In it was the $500 and a note:
. . "How could you do this is a fellow blond?"
.

Last edited by soroban (2010-01-22 05:34:10)

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#3 2010-02-18 11:54:37

misheeru
Member
Registered: 2010-02-18
Posts: 4,594

Re: blonde

Lmao! wow both of those were pretty good


Of Moons, Birds and Monsters

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#4 2010-02-20 03:27:53

devian18
Member
Registered: 2009-02-24
Posts: 12

Re: blonde

nice jod. i like them both

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#5 2010-02-25 01:39:49

soroban
Member
Registered: 2007-03-09
Posts: 451

Re: blonde

.
A blond calls 911 and says,
"Help! My house is on fire. Bye!"

"Wait!" shouts the dispatcher.
"How do we get to your house?"

There is a pause, then the blond says,
"Um, in a big red truck?"
.

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#6 2010-02-26 11:23:25

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,848

Re: blonde

As misheeru would normally say: LMAO! roflol


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#7 2010-02-26 13:29:43

misheeru
Member
Registered: 2010-02-18
Posts: 4,594

Re: blonde

Stealing my LMAO, eh? jk  thats awesome tigree, LMAO pwns!!!

its ok its only natural anyway, blonde jokes ftw

lmao
rofl

roflolroflolroflolroflolroflolroflolroflolroflolup

Last edited by misheeru (2010-02-26 13:33:48)


Of Moons, Birds and Monsters

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#8 2010-02-26 13:37:49

misheeru
Member
Registered: 2010-02-18
Posts: 4,594

Re: blonde

There once was a magical forest and if you entered it and told a lie you would disappear!!!

A red-head walks in and says "I think I'm pretty"  POOF! She disappears

A brunette walks in and says "I think Im smart"  nothing happens so she keeps going and makes it out.

A blonde walks in and says "I think-" POOF! She disappears


Of Moons, Birds and Monsters

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#9 2010-02-27 13:45:16

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,848

Re: blonde

Hazzah! Victory for Brunettes! LOL! Actually, I'm a bit of everything, but mostly brunette.
That's a good one, misheeru.


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#10 2010-03-01 09:16:59

misheeru
Member
Registered: 2010-02-18
Posts: 4,594

Re: blonde

Ah a fellow brunette.

I actually dont no my hair is so dark its about one shade short of black.....

Maybe thats because my black dye faded?

Thats joke was a lie some red-heads are real hotties....

Take Haley Williams for example.. but wait her was dyed that color... oh no was she blonde to begin with??


Of Moons, Birds and Monsters

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#11 2010-03-20 02:11:46

phrontister
Real Member
From: The Land of Tomorrow
Registered: 2009-07-12
Posts: 3,853

Re: blonde

A blonde was speeding down the road in her little red sports car when a local police officer, who was also blonde, pulled her over, walked up to the car and asked to see the blonde's driver's license.

The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What's a driver's license look like?"

The blonde cop said, "It's rectangular and it's got your picture on it!"

The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license!", and handed it to the blonde policewoman.

The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. If I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this!"


"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

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#12 2010-03-21 20:29:07

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,848

Re: blonde

LOL! That's a good one, Phro!

To tell ya the truth, I don't know what I am. I'm brunette, but in the sun I'm a ranga (Aussie slang for red-head, btw) And now my peroxide is fading! So I don't know!


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#13 2010-03-23 02:11:54

phrontister
Real Member
From: The Land of Tomorrow
Registered: 2009-07-12
Posts: 3,853

Re: blonde

Hi Tigeree,

"ranga"...had to look that up. Apparently it's short for orangutan, an arboreal anthropoid ape (Pongo pygmaeus) of Borneo and Sumatra, having a shaggy reddish-brown coat, very long arms, and no tail.

I wonder if that answers any questions...!

My mental picture of you has changed. You can sketch a composite picture of your face here and maybe you'd like to post the result to give us some idea of what you look like. This computerised approach will protect your anonymity.

Here's a video of a blonde who returns to work after having been out of the workforce for many years: Blonde returns to work. You can tell she hasn't unlearnt the old carriage-return action!

Last edited by phrontister (2010-03-23 03:37:20)


"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

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#14 2010-03-23 14:28:12

bobbym
Administrator
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 88,594

Re: blonde

Hi phrontister;

I took that composite face test and nearly screamed with horror at the result. I have to apologize to the rest of the human race for having to look at me.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.

I agree with you regarding the satisfaction and importance of actually computing some numbers. I can't tell you how often I see time and money wasted because someone didn't bother to run the numbers.

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#15 2010-03-23 18:38:40

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,848

Re: blonde

I'm sorry Phro, I can't do it! I tried but got stuck on the first question! I don't really have a mental picture of anyone, I just use their avatar's as a reference. And that is my mental picture. BUt for you guys I'll try.   
But anyway: Yes! that's right it is short for orangutan!


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#16 2010-03-23 19:21:44

bobbym
Administrator
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 88,594

Re: blonde


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.

I agree with you regarding the satisfaction and importance of actually computing some numbers. I can't tell you how often I see time and money wasted because someone didn't bother to run the numbers.

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#17 2010-03-31 06:21:35

S.G. Shredmaster
Member
Registered: 2010-03-19
Posts: 290

Re: blonde

A blond was going to Disneyland and saw a sign that said:

Disneyland Left

So she says "Oh, well.", turns around and goes home.


When you're old and your eyes are dim, There ain't no old shep gonna happen again
We'll still go walking down country lanes, I'll sing the same old song
Hear me call your name

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#18 2010-04-12 07:04:08

misheeru
Member
Registered: 2010-02-18
Posts: 4,594

Re: blonde

LOL, thats hilarious, Shredz.

And almost peed my pants laughing when I took that face test thing that phro posted.


Of Moons, Birds and Monsters

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