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#1 2009-10-15 02:42:11

soroban
Member
Registered: 2007-03-09
Posts: 451

Point System for Men

The Point System for Men

One rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and you lose points.
No points for doing something that's expected.
Sorry, those are the rules.


Simple Duties


You make the bed (+1)
You forget the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the spread over the rumpled sheets (-1)

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet paper (0)
You use Kleenex instead (-1)
You use the other bathroom (-2)

You go out and buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
In the snow (+8)
But return with beer (-10)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a six-iron (+10)
It is her cat (-10)


Social Behavior at a Party

You stay by her side the entire evening (0)
You chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
Her name is Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-10)


Her Birthday

You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's All-You-Can-Eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's All-You-Can-Eat night,
. . and your face is painted in your team colors (-10)


A Night Out with the Boys

Go with a pal (-5)
The pal is happily married (-1)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And drives a Mustang (-10)
With plates: GR8 N BED (-16)


A Night Out

You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called "Death Cop 9" (-5)
With cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-18)


Your Physique

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-8)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise regularly (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and start wearing
. . loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "So what? You have one, too." (-100)


Communication

You listen, looking concerned (0)
You listen for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for over 30 minutes without glancing at the TV (+50)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)

She asks, "Do I look fat?"
You hestitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-40)
Any other response (-20)

.

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#2 2009-10-15 08:47:21

bobbym
Administrator
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 86,228

Re: Point System for Men

Hi soroban;

Don't forget this one.

If you are very annoying  (-10)
If you are a real jerk (+20)
If you are a total loser (+100)

Last edited by bobbym (2009-10-15 08:50:38)


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
Of course that result can be rigorously obtained, but who cares?
Combinatorics is Algebra and Algebra is Combinatorics.

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#3 2009-10-16 07:26:49

Ubergeek
Member
Registered: 2009-07-14
Posts: 205

Re: Point System for Men

bobbym wrote:

If you are a real jerk (+20)
If you are a total loser (+100)

20 points for being a jerk and 100 for being a total loser? O.o


"Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true."

Bertrand Russell

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#4 2009-10-16 13:56:12

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,847

Re: Point System for Men

Depends, Ubergeek. 
My point of view.

Simple Duties

You make the bed (+1)
You forget the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the spread over the rumpled sheets (-1)

That I don't mind. 

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)   
You replace the toilet paper (0)
You use Kleenex instead (-1)   
You use the other bathroom (-2)

These I mind.

You go out and buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
In the snow (+8)
But return with beer (-10)

^That, depends how long I know the guy. & only if he comes back with a beer for me.   

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a six-iron (+10)
It is her cat (-10)

Hate cats, but that would be so funny!

Social Behavior at a Party

You stay by her side the entire evening (0)
You chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
Her name is Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-10)

Do not doubt the jealousy in a women, it's stronger than you know.

Her Birthday

You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's All-You-Can-Eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's All-You-Can-Eat night,
. . and your face is painted in your team colors (-10)

All-You-Can-Eat! Of course I would, but only if we go for the same team. 

A Night Out with the Boys

Go with a pal (-5)
The pal is happily married (-1)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And drives a Mustang (-10)
With plates: GR8 N BED (-16)

That's just scary.

A Night Out

You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called "Death Cop 9" (-5)
With cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-18)

I'd see that! Lying, though is not kool. 

Your Physique

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-8)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise regularly (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and start wearing
. . loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "So what? You have one, too." (-100)

The worst thing I have ever heard! That's like -1000000.

Communication

You listen, looking concerned (0)
You listen for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for over 30 minutes without glancing at the TV (+50)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)

The reason I don't tell my boyfriend things.

She asks, "Do I look fat?"
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-40)
Any other response (-20)

This is the point where you should lie. Even if she says to tell her the truth, lie.
.


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#5 2009-10-16 18:38:54

bobbym
Administrator
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 86,228

Re: Point System for Men

Tigeree wrote:

Lying, though is not kool.

Tigeree wrote:

This is the point where you should lie. Even if she says to tell her the truth, lie.

Confusing? A contradiction!

Last edited by bobbym (2009-10-16 18:41:22)


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
Of course that result can be rigorously obtained, but who cares?
Combinatorics is Algebra and Algebra is Combinatorics.

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#6 2009-10-20 18:49:27

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,847

Re: Point System for Men

I'm sorry, bobby. I know it is complicated. That's just how it is. Better get used to it if you want a girlfriend. dunno Karma, I think. Do good things and good things will come.

Last edited by Tigeree (2009-10-20 18:50:48)


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#7 2009-10-21 01:36:38

bobbym
Administrator
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 86,228

Re: Point System for Men

Tigeree wrote:

I'm sorry, bobby. I know it is complicated. That's just how it is. Better get used to it if you want a girlfriend.

Difficult to reply to that. If I say that I never had any problems you would think that I am bragging. I was just saying that lying is the way to go. It is cool. It is exactly what they want to hear and also it is the right thing to do. You want to make people feel better, don't you? So, lying is cool, smart and compassionate, that is the contradiction.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
Of course that result can be rigorously obtained, but who cares?
Combinatorics is Algebra and Algebra is Combinatorics.

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#8 2009-10-21 18:00:33

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,847

Re: Point System for Men

Well, I guess it depends how good the lie is. If she knows your faking it, then your in big trouble. You have to lie convincingly. & no, I don't want to make people feel better, sure lyings compassionate, but that doesn't make it good. I don't lie... much. But sometimes I say things I don't mean. Which technically isn't lying.


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#9 2009-10-22 07:26:08

bobbym
Administrator
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 86,228

Re: Point System for Men

Hi Tig;

That could considered lying. I suppose we do that to gain an edge. Still, it is a strange that the world is constructed to reward those who do that the best.

Last edited by bobbym (2009-10-22 08:18:33)


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
Of course that result can be rigorously obtained, but who cares?
Combinatorics is Algebra and Algebra is Combinatorics.

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#10 2009-10-22 18:40:30

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,847

Re: Point System for Men

I know, thats the only good thing about it. When I lie I carry guilt afterwards, and then get hit by karma. I don't carry guilt when I am truthful. Just say what I feel... sometimes. I don't feel a lot, so people say.


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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