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#1 2007-12-29 17:08:13

soha
Real Member
Registered: 2006-07-07
Posts: 2,530

Creative wording

You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let's say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.

A cousin has supplied you with the only known photograph of Remus, showing him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture are the words:

"Remus Starr: Horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison, 1885. Escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged, 1889."

Pretty grim situation, right? But let's revise things a bit. We simply crop the picture, scan in an enlarged image and edit it with image processing software so that all that is seen is a head shot.

Next, we rewrite the text:

"Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad.

Beginning in 1885, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."


"Let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success!" smile smile
- David O. McKay

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#2 2007-12-29 17:22:10

Jai Ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 45,966

Re: Creative wording

roflol

Good one, Soha!!!


It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#3 2007-12-29 21:42:29

JohnnyReinB
Member
Registered: 2007-10-08
Posts: 453

Re: Creative wording

The power of connotation...

Nice!


"There is not a difference between an in-law and an outlaw, except maybe that an outlaw is wanted" wink

Nisi Quam Primum, Nequequam

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#4 2008-01-06 07:15:55

MasterofDisguise
Member
Registered: 2008-01-05
Posts: 68

Re: Creative wording

wow thats some MAJOR re-wording


(im an ALIEN eek) im kool tongue (WHAT what You cant steal my fridge!)]

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