Math Is Fun Forum
  Discussion about math, puzzles, games and fun.   Useful symbols: ÷ × ½ √ ∞ ≠ ≤ ≥ ≈ ⇒ ± ∈ Δ θ ∴ ∑ ∫ • π ƒ -¹ ² ³ °

You are not logged in.

#1 2006-07-16 07:15:22

Devantè
Real Member
Registered: 2006-07-14
Posts: 6,400

Teatime Jokes...Plain Jokes, Some May Not Be Funny...

J1. A man is thinking about his friend's birthday. He decides to buy his friend a DELL Inspiron       
computer. The man decides to be a good friend, so he buys him all the things he needs for the computer. He buys a mouse, two speakers, a CD/DVD Writer and a floppy disk.

The next day, the man's friend opens his presents. The friend complains that he has dodgy items. The man said "What? You made me stop at PC World, then have me go to the Pet Shop, then go to a guitar shop, then go to a pen-type shop and go back to PC World for a disk that looks like it's been used? I am outraged!
"Well, you should be. I don't have anything to look after the mouse, all you've given me is a guitar amp, a pen and a rather floppy disk."

(Ok I guess that wasn't so funny)

J2. A man walks into a shop, and takes out a half-penny, a shilling, and a sixpence. He asks what he can get for a half-penny, a shilling, and a sixpence.
"I'm sorry sir, but what you have is laughable." the shopkeeper laughs.
"What? You made me chop a penny in half, make a penny shiny and find 6 pennies found at the bus station for nothing???"

J3. What do young insects ride in? Baby buggies.

J4. What kind of insects can dance? Jitter-Bugs.

J5. What do you call a bug dance? A moth ball.

J6. What kind of bug has no wings but flies? A spider.

J7. Why did the spider spin a web? She didn't know how to knit one.

J8. Which bug is related to you? Your ant.

J9. What did the mother grasshopper say to her children? "Hop to it!"

J10. What kind of insect sleeps the most? A bed bug.

J11. How does a bee brush its hair? With its honeycomb.

J12. What kind of bugs do knights fight? Dragonflies.

J13. What kind of bugs can you find in a clock? Ticks.

J14. What language do ticks speak? Tick talk.

J15. What do you call a tired centipede? A sleepy creepy.

J16. What did the boy say to the mosquito? "Don't bug me!"

J17. Diner: What is this spider doing in my soup?              Waiter: The backstroke!

J18. What kind of bugs are the sweetest? Honeybees.

J19. What kind of insects are the best singers? Hum-bugs.

J20. What is the name of a famous bug rock group? The beetles.

J21. What kind of music do the beetles play? Bee-bop.

J22. How are bugs and babies alike? They both creep and crawl.

J23. Which sport do mosquitoes like the best? Skin diving.

J24. What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team.

J25. What do you call the head of a roach basketball team? The roach coach.

J26. Why do bugs hate baseball bats. Because they're fly sweaters.

J27. What kinds of insects are the best builders? Carpenter ants.

J28. What kind of bugs do you find in church? Praying matises.

J29. What kind of insects are always polite? Ladybugs.

J30. What did the boy centipede say to the girl centipede? "I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand.........."

J31. What do you call a young bee? A babe bee.

J32. Why did the boy throw butter out of a window? He wanted to see a butterfly.

J33. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

J34. What has 18 feet, red eyes, and long claws? You don't know? I don't know either, but it's crawling up your neck!

J35. What happened when the bald man saw a centipede? It was a hair-raising experience.

J36. Where can you buy bugs? At a flea market.

J37. Why can't you weigh a firefly? Because it is so light.

J38. What kind of bug uses a camera? A shutter-bug.

J39. What worm can never go into space? An earthworm.

J40. What kind of ants are the biggest? Gi-ants.

J41. When did the fly fly? When the spider spied-her.

J42. Which insect has a hard time making up its mind? A may-bee.

J43. Why are bees so rich? They cell their honey.

J44. What kind of insects are the smartest? Fireflies - Because they are so bright.

J45. What goes 99-thump 99-thump 99-thump? A centipede with a wooden leg.

J46. What kind of bug does a cowboy ride? A horsefly.

J47. How do you start a firefly race? Ready, set, glow!

J48. What kind of insects do campers like best? Fireflies.

J49. How do you hunt for bees? With a bee-bee gun.

J50. What does a cotton farmer call a bad beetle? An evil weevil.

J51. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

J52. Which bug can you find in the alphabet? B.

J53. What kind of insects are good in school? Spelling bees.

J54. What kind of bugs are the messiest? Litter-bugs.

J55. What kind of ants have trunks? Eleph-ants.

J56. What kind of insects are dirty? Grubs.

J57. Who is the kind of the insects? The monarch.

J58. Nate knew a gnu that had gnats, which gnawed him whenever he sat. The get rid of these pests, he wore bug-proof vests, which is good news for gnus who have gnats.

J59. What does a moth sleep on? A cater-pillow.

~More Jokes Coming Soon~

Last edited by Devanté (2006-07-16 08:09:26)

Offline

#2 2006-12-23 05:14:40

Devantè
Real Member
Registered: 2006-07-14
Posts: 6,400

Re: Teatime Jokes...Plain Jokes, Some May Not Be Funny...

Just out of interest, what kind of jokes are everyone's preference?

Offline

#3 2006-12-23 08:40:29

LQ
Real Member
Registered: 2006-12-04
Posts: 1,281

Re: Teatime Jokes...Plain Jokes, Some May Not Be Funny...

Like in men in black 2: "Plan needs to be thought out, plan needs to be cool." etc.

Though its perhaps old junk, but what jokes aren't?

Last edited by LQ (2006-12-23 08:41:41)


I see clearly now, the universe have the black dots, Thus I am on my way of inventing this remedy...

Offline

#4 2006-12-23 08:49:15

Devantè
Real Member
Registered: 2006-07-14
Posts: 6,400

Re: Teatime Jokes...Plain Jokes, Some May Not Be Funny...

Hmm...Men In Black 2...that's the thing with the aliens, right? Starring Will Smith?

Offline

#5 2006-12-23 10:01:14

LQ
Real Member
Registered: 2006-12-04
Posts: 1,281

Re: Teatime Jokes...Plain Jokes, Some May Not Be Funny...

That's the one smile

I bought both movies for 14.67 dollars approximately

Last edited by LQ (2006-12-23 10:05:35)


I see clearly now, the universe have the black dots, Thus I am on my way of inventing this remedy...

Offline

#6 2006-12-23 21:12:27

Devantè
Real Member
Registered: 2006-07-14
Posts: 6,400

Re: Teatime Jokes...Plain Jokes, Some May Not Be Funny...

I waited until it started showing on television. I know, I'm lame. big_smile

Offline

#7 2006-12-27 05:51:11

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: Teatime Jokes...Plain Jokes, Some May Not Be Funny...

Your first joke is terrible.

You can't buy Dell at the shops, that's the point.


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

Offline

#8 2006-12-27 05:52:18

Devantè
Real Member
Registered: 2006-07-14
Posts: 6,400

Re: Teatime Jokes...Plain Jokes, Some May Not Be Funny...

It's not mine, though.

Offline

#9 2006-12-27 07:19:13

jellyjumper
Member
Registered: 2006-12-05
Posts: 30

Re: Teatime Jokes...Plain Jokes, Some May Not Be Funny...

have you seen men in black 1.

Offline

#10 2006-12-27 07:33:20

Devantè
Real Member
Registered: 2006-07-14
Posts: 6,400

Re: Teatime Jokes...Plain Jokes, Some May Not Be Funny...

Yes. Although it isn't really the main target of discussion...

Offline

#11 2006-12-27 08:37:49

LQ
Real Member
Registered: 2006-12-04
Posts: 1,281

Re: Teatime Jokes...Plain Jokes, Some May Not Be Funny...

I've heard someone say that the first movie is the best, resently.


I see clearly now, the universe have the black dots, Thus I am on my way of inventing this remedy...

Offline

#12 2006-12-27 09:57:13

Devantè
Real Member
Registered: 2006-07-14
Posts: 6,400

Re: Teatime Jokes...Plain Jokes, Some May Not Be Funny...

Depends which is more fantasy-like.

Offline

Board footer

Powered by FluxBB