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Life doesn't hand me lemons, it fires them at me rapidly from a lemon cannon.
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How did the chemist who failed the temperature test get? Absolute zero.
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Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever's bugging you.
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What is a vampires favourite type of ship? A blood vessel.
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The light at the end of the tunnel... might just be an incoming train.
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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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