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#1 2018-08-06 00:16:25

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 26,294

Physics Jokes

Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?
A: Sherlock Ohms.
* * *
Q: Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?
A: Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
* * *
Q: What did the physicist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker.
* * *
Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.
* * *
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAG.
* * *
Q: Where does bad light end up?
A: In a prism.
* * *
Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe.
* * *
Q: What would you call a clown in jail?
A: Silicon (Silly Con).
* * *
Q: What do you call an Atom when it dies?
A: A Diatom.
* * *
Q: Why did the sun not go to college?
A: Because it already had a million degrees!
* * *
Q: According to a physicist, why is the world so diverse?
A: Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
* * *
Q: What did Donald Duck say in his graduate physics class?
A: Quark, quark, quark!
* * *
Q: What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?
A: "Gotta split!"
* * *
Q: What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist?
A: Let me atom.
* * *
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.
* * *
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
* * *
Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar?
A: An Algorithm.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#2 2018-08-06 17:31:25

Monox D. I-Fly
Member
From: Indonesia
Registered: 2015-12-02
Posts: 1,283

Re: Physics Jokes

ganesh wrote:

Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe.
* * *

This will give an idea to a Yu-Gi-Oh! card designer to make a card whose artwork is a shiny (neon) bony (calcium) dog. I dunno what's the most popular characteristic of nickel, though.


Actually I never watch Star Wars and not interested in it anyway, but I choose a Yoda card as my avatar in honor of our great friend bobbym who has passed away. May his adventurous soul rest in peace at heaven.

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#3 2018-08-06 23:50:07

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 26,294

Re: Physics Jokes

Monox D. I-Fly wrote:
ganesh wrote:

Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe.
* * *

This will give an idea to a Yu-Gi-Oh! card designer to make a card whose artwork is a shiny (neon) bony (calcium) dog. I dunno what's the most popular characteristic of nickel, though.

Nickel is a silvery-white lustrous metal with a slight golden tinge. Nickel belongs to the transition metals and is hard and ductile. Pure nickel, powdered to maximize the reactive surface area, shows a significant chemical activity, but larger pieces are slow to react with air under standard conditions because an oxide layer forms on the surface and prevents further corrosion (passivation). Even so, pure native nickel is found in Earth's crust only in tiny amounts, usually in ultramafic rocks, and in the interiors of larger nickel–iron meteorites that were not exposed to oxygen when outside Earth's atmosphere.

Nickel is a silvery-white metal with a slight golden tinge that takes a high polish. It is one of only four elements that are magnetic at or near room temperature, the others being iron, cobalt and gadolinium. Its Curie temperature is 355 °C (671 °F), meaning that bulk nickel is non-magnetic above this temperature. The unit cell of nickel is a face-centered cube with the lattice parameter of 0.352 nm, giving an atomic radius of 0.124 nm. This crystal structure is stable to pressures of at least 70 GPa. Nickel belongs to the transition metals and is hard and ductile.


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#4 2018-08-07 14:53:27

Monox D. I-Fly
Member
From: Indonesia
Registered: 2015-12-02
Posts: 1,283

Re: Physics Jokes

ganesh wrote:

Nickel is a silvery-white metal with a slight golden tinge that takes a high polish. It is one of only four elements that are magnetic at or near room temperature, the others being iron, cobalt and gadolinium. Its Curie temperature is 355 °C (671 °F), meaning that bulk nickel is non-magnetic above this temperature. The unit cell of nickel is a face-centered cube with the lattice parameter of 0.352 nm, giving an atomic radius of 0.124 nm. This crystal structure is stable to pressures of at least 70 GPa. Nickel belongs to the transition metals and is hard and ductile.

Cobalt is a metal? All along this time, I thought it was a gem.


Actually I never watch Star Wars and not interested in it anyway, but I choose a Yoda card as my avatar in honor of our great friend bobbym who has passed away. May his adventurous soul rest in peace at heaven.

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#5 2018-08-07 17:11:49

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 26,294

Re: Physics Jokes

Monox D. I-Fly wrote:
ganesh wrote:

Nickel is a silvery-white metal with a slight golden tinge that takes a high polish. It is one of only four elements that are magnetic at or near room temperature, the others being iron, cobalt and gadolinium. Its Curie temperature is 355 °C (671 °F), meaning that bulk nickel is non-magnetic above this temperature. The unit cell of nickel is a face-centered cube with the lattice parameter of 0.352 nm, giving an atomic radius of 0.124 nm. This crystal structure is stable to pressures of at least 70 GPa. Nickel belongs to the transition metals and is hard and ductile.

Cobalt is a metal? All along this time, I thought it was a gem.

Cobalt is a chemical element with symbol Co and atomic number 27. Like nickel, cobalt is found in the Earth's crust only in chemically combined form, save for small deposits found in alloys of natural meteoric iron. The free element, produced by reductive smelting, is a hard, lustrous, silver-gray metal.

Cobalt is primarily used in the manufacture of magnetic, wear-resistant and high-strength alloys.

Cobalt is a ferromagnetic metal with a specific gravity of 8.9. The Curie temperature is 1,115 °C (2,039 °F) and the magnetic moment is 1.6–1.7 Bohr magnetons per atom. Cobalt has a relative permeability two-thirds that of iron. Metallic cobalt occurs as two crystallographic structures: hcp and fcc. The ideal transition temperature between the hcp and fcc structures is 450 °C (842 °F), but in practice the energy difference between them is so small that random intergrowth of the two is common.


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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