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**Zmurf****Member**- Registered: 2005-07-31
- Posts: 49

If your a lawyer, please don't take offence. Though, I don't understand why you would be on a forum dealing with reason. (That wasn't the joke)

What doe you call 500 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

*"When subtracted from 180, the sum of the square-root of the two equal angles of an isocoles triangle squared will give the square-root of the remaining angle squared."*

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**Patrick****Real Member**- Registered: 2006-02-24
- Posts: 1,005

haha, nice one

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What music do I listen to? Clicky click

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**RealEstateBroker****Member**- Registered: 2006-06-01
- Posts: 45

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 40?

Love is what matters most!

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**Vulcan****Member**- Registered: 2005-04-23
- Posts: 224

what do you call a lawyer on the moon?

a problem

what do you call 10 lawyers on the moon?

a bigger problem

what do call all the lawyers on the moon?

problem solved.

one day, i couldn't find my hat

then it occured to me that i didn't have one

so i didn't where it!!!

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**coolcat23****Member**- Registered: 2006-06-21
- Posts: 553

HA HA HA

HAAAAAAAAA!

The world revolves around me. Deal with it.

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**RealEstateBroker****Member**- Registered: 2006-06-01
- Posts: 45

A lawyer and two businessmen were attending the funeral of a dear friend of theirs who had died.

The three of them agreed, that as a tribute to their friend, they would each put a thousand dollars into the casket and leave it to be sealed in and buried.

First, each of the two businessmen put in a thousand dollars, then it was the lawyer's turn. Slowly, the lawyer walked to the casket at the front of the chapel and reached into his pocket. He pulled out his checkbook, wrote out a check for $3,000, and took out the other $2,000 for change, which he pocketed.

Love is what matters most!

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**MathsIsFun****Administrator**- Registered: 2005-01-21
- Posts: 7,685

A lawyer falls overboard in shark infested waters.

Everyone gathers to watch the carnage, but instead of what they expected, they see the sharks gather into a line and escort the lawyer back to the ship where he is safely pulled aboard.

"Why on earth did they do THAT?" someone asks. The captain, a well experienced man, replies "Professional Respect".

"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..." - Leon M. Lederman

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**Zhylliolom****Real Member**- Registered: 2005-09-05
- Posts: 412

I have used RealEstateBroker's "Lawyer at a Funeral" joke with friends. Thanks for providing me with such an enjoyable joke to share with the community.

I'll submit some:

-If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?

-Shoot the lawyer twice.

-How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

-His lips are moving.

-What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

-The lawyer charges more.

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