Whats with all the sausage jokes?

Man I need some breakfast...

Here's a joke on a completely different subject (and just as bad)

Darth Vader: Luke Skywalker, I know what you are getting for your birthday.
Luke: How do you know?
Darth Vader: I felt your presents.

Last edited by stardust (2006-04-12 04:20:33)

Very funny

Patient: Doctor doctor whenever Idrink coffee I get a stabbing pain in my eye.
Doctor: Have you tried taking the spoon out?

Good ones



Patient: Doctor Doctor I feel like a bridge
Doctor: whats come over you?
Patient: ah let me think. 3 trucks, 5 cars, 2 buses and a taxi

Reporter: What do you think the main causes are for ignorance and indifference in voting?
Person: I don't know and I don't care.

Patient: I keep getting these feelings that I am really an Egg Timer
Doctor: 5 minutes, please.

Thanks, I am glad I didn't hurt anyone.

Speaking about humor in any situation:

When I was in the hospital, I had been in a medically-induced coma for 3 weeks, on life-support and intravenious feeding. I had just had the breathing tube removed, and so it was the first day that I was able to talk. I was heavily sedated and much of what I was experiencing was a distorted reality. I was not yet permitted to drink because they were worried that I could easily choke, so I was incredibly thirst...parched would be a better description. All I could think about was getting a drink. As I faded in and out of conciousness, I had delusions that someone was offering to give me a glass of water if I would give them $5,000, and I was so desperate, that I was willing to go to the bank the withdraw the money and give it to them.

When I was awake, I was begging for a drink. Later, my wife said I was like an addict. Despite all this, I am the kind of person who just can't help making a joke. One of the times when I was begging for water and a nurse was trying to explain to me why I couldn't have any, I said: "If you give me a drink of water, I'll vote for George Bush." (This was May of 04, so it was an election year.)

I recall her not looking too pleased. I think she must have been a Republican.

Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot.

The horrified nurse said, "Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?"

The lady said, "My phone doesn't have an eleven."