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#1 2011-10-02 08:16:50

Sarah Rebekah
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Jokes

what's the most funny jokes can u guys and girls Tell?


Love is the key to life
 

#2 2011-11-01 19:38:04

TWalker
Novice

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Re: Jokes

Laws of Life
1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of bio mechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11.Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

Last edited by TWalker (2012-07-20 20:00:54)

 

#3 2011-11-01 22:11:16

Arthur Bon Zavi
Full Member

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Re: Jokes

Not particular. You can have a good laugh at each. There are millions of them.


In the heart of the night, when it's dark in the lights; I heard the loudest voice - a gun shot on the floor.
 

#4 2011-11-01 23:16:35

bobbym
Administrator

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Re: Jokes

Hi;

2, 6, 10, 11 and 19 are definitely true and I can prove it.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.
 

#5 2011-11-01 23:53:12

anonimnystefy
Real Member

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Re: Jokes

and I can prove 1,4,7,8,14 and 18.

14 is only partially true because "The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug ,the cost of the jelly and bread and the hunger of the subject in question."


The limit operator is just an excuse for doing something you know you can't.
“It's the subject that nobody knows anything about that we can all talk about!” ― Richard Feynman
“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
 

#6 2011-11-01 23:55:28

bobbym
Administrator

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Re: Jokes

I think 3 is false.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.
 

#7 2011-11-01 23:56:05

anonimnystefy
Real Member

Online

Re: Jokes

don't think so,but i don't understand 17.


The limit operator is just an excuse for doing something you know you can't.
“It's the subject that nobody knows anything about that we can all talk about!” ― Richard Feynman
“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
 

#8 2011-11-01 23:57:12

bobbym
Administrator

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Re: Jokes

"Foot in your mouth," get it?


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.
 

#9 2011-11-02 00:04:06

anonimnystefy
Real Member

Online

Re: Jokes

i searched it,and now i get it,and it's true and i can prove it.


The limit operator is just an excuse for doing something you know you can't.
“It's the subject that nobody knows anything about that we can all talk about!” ― Richard Feynman
“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
 

#10 2011-11-02 00:05:34

bobbym
Administrator

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Re: Jokes

I disagree, 4 is not true. I have dialed plenty of wrong and right numbers. The result was always the same, no answer. Or a quick hangup when I identified myself.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.
 

#11 2011-11-02 02:19:13

Sarah Rebekah
Power Member

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Re: Jokes

Very funny guys


Love is the key to life
 

#12 2011-11-03 03:38:20

anonimnystefy
Real Member

Online

Re: Jokes

well maybe the probability is 50%


The limit operator is just an excuse for doing something you know you can't.
“It's the subject that nobody knows anything about that we can all talk about!” ― Richard Feynman
“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
 

#13 2011-11-03 03:39:56

bobbym
Administrator

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Re: Jokes

What probability?


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.
 

#14 2011-11-03 03:49:29

anonimnystefy
Real Member

Online

Re: Jokes

the probability of the number being right/wrong.


The limit operator is just an excuse for doing something you know you can't.
“It's the subject that nobody knows anything about that we can all talk about!” ― Richard Feynman
“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
 

#15 2011-11-03 03:52:12

bobbym
Administrator

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Re: Jokes

On yours or mine?

Oh wait, of course it is one of yours.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.
 

#16 2011-12-03 04:39:46

Sarah Rebekah
Power Member

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Re: Jokes

u guys are welcome


Love is the key to life
 

#17 2012-04-03 19:34:16

anky2930
Member

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Re: Jokes

Good one and here I am,
Which is the favorite channel of all the snake's?
ans: Hisssss-tory.

 

#18 2012-04-03 20:30:52

Tigeree
Legendary Member

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Re: Jokes

bobbym wrote:

I think 3 is false.

I think 3 is true and dependant if/when there is a video camera involved & access to the internet.


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.
 

#19 2012-04-03 21:03:05

anonimnystefy
Real Member

Online

Re: Jokes

If you did something very stupid,there's quite a big chance you'll se it on youtube tomorrow morning.


The limit operator is just an excuse for doing something you know you can't.
“It's the subject that nobody knows anything about that we can all talk about!” ― Richard Feynman
“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
 

#20 2012-04-04 15:29:38

bobbym
Administrator

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Re: Jokes

I still think 3 is false and I do not even know what 3 is.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.
 

#21 2012-04-04 19:12:18

Tigeree
Legendary Member

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Re: Jokes

Thank you, Stefy. Hence Justin Beiber, UGH. Here in Melbourne we've recently salvaged a group of young ruffians who call themselves the Janoskians, public nuisances.

bobby: That's why I re-read number 3 before I posted that opinion. It's the Law of Probability if that helps.


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.
 

#22 2012-04-04 20:55:57

bobbym
Administrator

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Re: Jokes

Not really, and it is still false.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.
 

#23 2012-04-05 00:26:24

anonimnystefy
Real Member

Online

Re: Jokes

Tigeree wrote:

Thank you, Stefy. Hence Justin Beiber, UGH. Here in Melbourne we've recently salvaged a group of young ruffians who call themselves the Janoskians, public nuisances.

bobby: That's why I re-read number 3 before I posted that opinion. It's the Law of Probability if that helps.

I don't want to speak to you anymore!!! You put Justin's name in the same post as mine!!! I hate you!


The limit operator is just an excuse for doing something you know you can't.
“It's the subject that nobody knows anything about that we can all talk about!” ― Richard Feynman
“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
 

#24 2012-04-05 02:15:59

bobbym
Administrator

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Re: Jokes

Why all this negativity directed at the "Bieb?"


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.
 

#25 2012-04-05 02:18:26

anonimnystefy
Real Member

Online

Re: Jokes

I hate that guy.Most people hate that guy!


The limit operator is just an excuse for doing something you know you can't.
“It's the subject that nobody knows anything about that we can all talk about!” ― Richard Feynman
“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
 

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