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#26 2005-11-27 22:58:09

sonyafterdark
Member
Registered: 2005-09-12
Posts: 28

Re: Clean Jokes

please excuse me... got any NOT LAME jokes? thank you... big_smile


An intelligent man usually knows how to reach his goals. A wise man also knows what goals to reach...

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#27 2005-11-28 07:48:31

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,534

Re: Clean Jokes

Ha ha ... that was funny ... a NOT JOKE joke.


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

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#28 2005-11-28 08:26:09

mathsyperson
Moderator
Registered: 2005-06-22
Posts: 4,900

Re: Clean Jokes

Did you hear the joke about the dustman?
It's rubbish.


Why did the vector cross the road?
It wanted to be normal.

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#29 2005-11-28 13:21:43

justlookingforthemoment
Moderator
Registered: 2005-05-26
Posts: 2,161

Re: Clean Jokes

Did you hear the joke about the butter?
Better not tell you... it might spread.

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#30 2005-11-28 17:06:48

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,534

Re: Clean Jokes

Did you hear about the man who fell into the vat of varnish?

It was terrible while it lasted ... but it was a beautiful finish!


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

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#31 2005-11-28 17:28:55

justlookingforthemoment
Moderator
Registered: 2005-05-26
Posts: 2,161

Re: Clean Jokes

LOL!

There's far too many of these jokes:

Have you heard the joke about the roof?
It's over your head.

Heard the joke about the knife?
It's a killer.

Have you heard the joke about the wall?
I just can't get over it.

Do you know the riddle about the bed?
It hasn't been made yet.

Have you heard the one about the bread?
Better not tell you, it's crummy.

Have you heard the one about keeping an idiot in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow.

Does anybody know some more? smile

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#32 2005-12-02 21:48:10

ganesh
Moderator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 13,180

Re: Clean Jokes

What do you call a 200 years old buffalo?
a bison-tenary

What does Mozart do now that he is dead?
He de-composes.

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?


Character is who you are when no one is looking.

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#33 2005-12-04 08:30:32

Roraborealis
Member
Registered: 2005-03-17
Posts: 1,594

Re: Clean Jokes

justlookingforthemoment wrote:

Does anybody know some more? smile

Did you hear the joke about the rope?
No, I rather you'd skip it.


School is practice for the future. Practice makes perfect. But - nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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#34 2005-12-04 17:14:12

justlookingforthemoment
Moderator
Registered: 2005-05-26
Posts: 2,161

Re: Clean Jokes

Nice... and you're back! Well, at least for now, anyway! smile

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#35 2005-12-04 18:30:13

ganesh
Moderator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 13,180

Re: Clean Jokes

Nice to see Rora's post....after a long time.

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
Both crews were marooned.

Did you hear the one about the statistician?
Probably....


Character is who you are when no one is looking.

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#36 2005-12-04 18:41:35

justlookingforthemoment
Moderator
Registered: 2005-05-26
Posts: 2,161

Re: Clean Jokes

They're great! I especially like the first one.

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#37 2005-12-06 06:02:09

Jims
Member
Registered: 2005-11-28
Posts: 42

Re: Clean Jokes

If 10 potatoes is a bunch and 20 is a barrel, what are 30 and 40?

Last edited by Jims (2005-12-06 06:06:22)

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#38 2005-12-06 06:24:54

mathsyperson
Moderator
Registered: 2005-06-22
Posts: 4,900

Re: Clean Jokes


Why did the vector cross the road?
It wanted to be normal.

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#39 2005-12-06 19:22:19

ganesh
Moderator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 13,180

Re: Clean Jokes

If 1=5, 2=25, 3=125, 4=625, 5=?


Character is who you are when no one is looking.

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#40 2005-12-06 19:45:21

justlookingforthemoment
Moderator
Registered: 2005-05-26
Posts: 2,161

Re: Clean Jokes

3125? Except there's probably a catch.

Last edited by justlookingforthemoment (2005-12-06 19:45:54)

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#41 2005-12-06 20:02:10

ganesh
Moderator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 13,180

Re: Clean Jokes

Well, you fell into the trap!
The question was first started with 1=5, therefore 5=1. big_smile
When a simple solution exists, why we do we try to go for complex solutions?
This was an SMS sent to a friend of mine.


Character is who you are when no one is looking.

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#42 2005-12-06 20:14:07

justlookingforthemoment
Moderator
Registered: 2005-05-26
Posts: 2,161

Re: Clean Jokes

I knew there had to be trap! There always is. smile

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#43 2005-12-07 09:13:21

Wanna be math wiz
Member
Registered: 2005-11-24
Posts: 38

Re: Clean Jokes

Interesting problem Ganesh. I myself fell into the trap when i first saw the question and i think we all look for complex solutions because we never expect an answer to be easy (In some cases this is not true but most of the time it is).


Imagination is more important than knowledge

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#44 2005-12-07 09:25:36

Wanna be math wiz
Member
Registered: 2005-11-24
Posts: 38

Re: Clean Jokes

Btw Ganesh (or anybody else) could you please post some more of these "trap" puzzles they are quite interesting to figure out, but once solved you feel satisfied smile


Imagination is more important than knowledge

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#45 2005-12-07 10:05:17

mathsyperson
Moderator
Registered: 2005-06-22
Posts: 4,900

Re: Clean Jokes

I think ganesh posted this already, but a good 'trappy' one is:

What do you get if you expand out (x-a)(x-b)(x-c)...(x-z)?


Why did the vector cross the road?
It wanted to be normal.

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#46 2005-12-07 17:32:56

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,534

Re: Clean Jokes

A very large polynomial. And something that looks like smile


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

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#47 2005-12-07 19:39:47

ganesh
Moderator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 13,180

Re: Clean Jokes

Oops....MathsIsFun fell into the trap wink


Character is who you are when no one is looking.

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#48 2005-12-07 19:43:58

justlookingforthemoment
Moderator
Registered: 2005-05-26
Posts: 2,161

Re: Clean Jokes

Ah... I know this one.

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#49 2005-12-07 20:02:18

mathsyperson
Moderator
Registered: 2005-06-22
Posts: 4,900

Re: Clean Jokes

You have a basket containing 5 apples and there are 5 people in a room. How do you give everyone in the room an apple and still leave one in the basket? There aren't any other apples in the room and you can't take apples back once you've given them to someone because that would be mean.


Why did the vector cross the road?
It wanted to be normal.

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#50 2005-12-07 20:05:04

justlookingforthemoment
Moderator
Registered: 2005-05-26
Posts: 2,161

Re: Clean Jokes

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