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**sonyafterdark****Member**- Registered: 2005-09-12
- Posts: 28

please excuse me... got any NOT LAME jokes? thank you...

An intelligent man usually knows how to reach his goals. A wise man also knows what goals to reach...

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**MathsIsFun****Administrator**- Registered: 2005-01-21
- Posts: 7,608

Ha ha ... that was funny ... a NOT JOKE joke.

"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..." - Leon M. Lederman

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**mathsyperson****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-06-22
- Posts: 4,900

Did you hear the joke about the dustman?

It's rubbish.

Why did the vector cross the road?

It wanted to be normal.

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**justlookingforthemoment****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

Better not tell you... it might spread.

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**MathsIsFun****Administrator**- Registered: 2005-01-21
- Posts: 7,608

Did you hear about the man who fell into the vat of varnish?

It was terrible while it lasted ... but it was a beautiful finish!

"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..." - Leon M. Lederman

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**justlookingforthemoment****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161

LOL!

There's far too many of these jokes:

Have you heard the joke about the roof?

It's over your head.

Heard the joke about the knife?

It's a killer.

Have you heard the joke about the wall?

I just can't get over it.

Do you know the riddle about the bed?

It hasn't been made yet.

Have you heard the one about the bread?

Better not tell you, it's crummy.

Have you heard the one about keeping an idiot in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

Does anybody know some more?

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**ganesh****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-06-28
- Posts: 20,335

What do you call a 200 years old buffalo?

a bison-tenary

What does Mozart do now that he is dead?

He de-composes.

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?

CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

Father : No. Why do you ask that?

Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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**Roraborealis****Member**- Registered: 2005-03-17
- Posts: 1,594

justlookingforthemoment wrote:

Does anybody know some more?

Did you hear the joke about the rope?

No, I rather you'd skip it.

School is practice for the future. Practice makes perfect. But - nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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**justlookingforthemoment****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161

Nice... and you're back! Well, at least for now, anyway!

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**ganesh****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-06-28
- Posts: 20,335

Nice to see Rora's post....after a long time.

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?

He's all right now.

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?

Both crews were marooned.

Did you hear the one about the statistician?

Probably....

It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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**justlookingforthemoment****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161

They're great! I especially like the first one.

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**Jims****Member**- Registered: 2005-11-28
- Posts: 42

If 10 potatoes is a bunch and 20 is a barrel, what are 30 and 40?

*Last edited by Jims (2005-12-06 06:06:22)*

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**mathsyperson****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-06-22
- Posts: 4,900

Why did the vector cross the road?

It wanted to be normal.

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**ganesh****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-06-28
- Posts: 20,335

If 1=5, 2=25, 3=125, 4=625, 5=?

It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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**justlookingforthemoment****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161

3125? Except there's probably a catch.

*Last edited by justlookingforthemoment (2005-12-06 19:45:54)*

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**ganesh****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-06-28
- Posts: 20,335

Well, you fell into the trap!

The question was first started with 1=5, therefore 5=1.

When a simple solution exists, why we do we try to go for complex solutions?

This was an SMS sent to a friend of mine.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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**justlookingforthemoment****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161

I knew there had to be trap! There always is.

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**Wanna be math wiz****Member**- Registered: 2005-11-24
- Posts: 38

Interesting problem Ganesh. I myself fell into the trap when i first saw the question and i think we all look for complex solutions because we never expect an answer to be easy (In some cases this is not true but most of the time it is).

Imagination is more important than knowledge

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**Wanna be math wiz****Member**- Registered: 2005-11-24
- Posts: 38

Btw Ganesh (or anybody else) could you please post some more of these "trap" puzzles they are quite interesting to figure out, but once solved you feel satisfied

Imagination is more important than knowledge

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**mathsyperson****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-06-22
- Posts: 4,900

I think ganesh posted this already, but a good 'trappy' one is:

What do you get if you expand out (x-a)(x-b)(x-c)...(x-z)?

Why did the vector cross the road?

It wanted to be normal.

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**MathsIsFun****Administrator**- Registered: 2005-01-21
- Posts: 7,608

A very large polynomial. And something that looks like

"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..." - Leon M. Lederman

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**ganesh****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-06-28
- Posts: 20,335

Oops....MathsIsFun fell into the trap

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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**justlookingforthemoment****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161

Ah... I know this one.

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**mathsyperson****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-06-22
- Posts: 4,900

You have a basket containing 5 apples and there are 5 people in a room. How do you give everyone in the room an apple and still leave one in the basket? There aren't any other apples in the room and you can't take apples back once you've given them to someone because that would be mean.

Why did the vector cross the road?

It wanted to be normal.

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**justlookingforthemoment****Moderator**- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161

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