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**studymaths****Member**- Registered: 2010-04-11
- Posts: 32

I'm trying to gather as many one - liner maths jokes together as I can so I thought I'd share the ones I have collected so far...apologies to the javascript layout!

joke[0]="Why was 6 afraid of 7?";

joke[1]="What do you call a boiling kettle on top of a mountain?";

joke[2]="There a 10 types of people.";

joke[3]="BREAKING NEWS!";

joke[4]="Have you heard the joke about the statistician?";

joke[5]="What happens when you take the circumference of your Halloween lantern and divide it by its diameter?";

joke[6]="What do mermaid mathematicians wear?";

joke[7]="Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?";

joke[8]="There were 99 people on a boat when it capsized. How many were left on the boat?";

joke[9]="What does a constipated mathematician do?";

joke[10]="What did the zero say to the eight?";

joke[11]="Pi says: 'Get real.'";

joke[12]="Why was the maths book sad?";

joke[13]="An infinite crowd of mathematicians enter a pub. The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint and so on.";

joke[14]="Why don't you find many mathematicians on the beach?";

joke[15]="Why did the pupil eat her homework?";

joke[16]="What does a clock do when it's hungry?";

joke[17]="Why is two the oddest prime?";

joke[18]="Teacher: 'Along the corridor up the stairs'";

joke[19]="A statistician had his head in an oven and his feet in the freezer.";

joke[20]="What's the king of the pencil case?";

joke[21]="What's a sheeps favourite graph?";

joke[22]="What did the obtuse angle say to the smaller angle?";

joke[23]="What T.V. programme do statisticians watch?"

joke[24]="Why was the prism angry?";

joke[25]="How much is the cheapest carpet at the metric store?";

joke[26]="How do geometry teachers travel?";

joke[27]="What is a mathematians favourite food?";

joke[28]="What do you call a leg that is perpendicular to a foot?";

joke[29]="What did one maths book say to the other?";

joke[30]="What state has the most maths teachers?";

joke[31]="Did you hear the joke about the infinite line?";

joke[32]="Having problems with your maths?";

joke[33]="Why did the two vectors start an internet-based company?";

joke[34]="Why did the integer get mad at his wife?";

joke[35]="Shocking statistic...";

joke[36]="Heard about the mathematical plant?";

joke[37]="F(x)= 2X+3 walks into a bar and orders a round of drinks and asks for some sanwiches.";

joke[38]="Who invented King Arthur's round table?";

joke[39]="How do you tell that you are in the hands of the Mathematical Mafia?";

joke[40]="How many numerical analysts does it take to change a lightbulb?";

joke[41]="What's the difference between Robbie Williams and a maths teacher?";

joke[42]="Where are mathematicians buried?";

joke[43]="Decimals have a point.";

joke[44]="Why don't they serve beer at mathematicians' parties?";

joke[45]="I hate puns about maths."

And now all the punch lines...

punch[0]="Because 7, 8, 9!";

punch[1]="A high-pot-in-use!";

punch[2]="Those that understand binary and those that don't.";

punch[3]="A new prime number has been discovered three times larger than the previous record.";

punch[4]="Answer, 'Probably.'"

punch[5]="You get Pumpkin Pie.";

punch[6]="Algebras.";

punch[7]="To get to the same side.";

punch[8]="66.";

punch[9]="Work it out with a pencil.";

punch[10]="Nice belt.";

punch[11]="i replies: 'Lets be rational about this.'";

punch[12]="Because it had too many problems.";

punch[13]="The bar man says 'I get ya' and pours two pints.";

punch[14]="Because they can get a tan with just a sine and cosine.";

punch[15]="Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.";

punch[16]="It goes back four seconds.";

punch[17]="It's the only one that's even!";

punch[18]="Pupil: 'Sir, I live in a bungalow'";

punch[19]="On average he felt fine.";

punch[20]="The ruler.";

punch[21]="A baaaa chart.";

punch[22]="Your a cute angle.";

punch[23]="Correlation street.";

punch[24]="It had a cross-section.";

punch[25]="One cent a metre.";

punch[26]="In a plane.";

punch[27]="Pi."

punch[28]="A right ankle.";

punch[29]="Man I have a lot of problems.";

punch[30]="Mathachussets.";

punch[31]="It doesn't have a point.";

punch[32]="Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].";

punch[33]="They thought they had a good dot product.";

punch[34]="Because she was being irrational.";

punch[35]="50% of schools are below average.";

punch[36]="It's got square roots.";

punch[37]="The barman replies sorry we don't cater for functions.";

punch[38]="Sir Cumference.";

punch[39]="They make you an offer that you can't understand.";

punch[40]="0.99987 after four iterations.";

punch[41]="Your maths teacher is loving Angles instead.";

punch[42]="The Symmetry.";

punch[43]="Calculus has it's limits.";

punch[44]="Because it's not safe to drink and derive.";

punch[45]="They're the first sine of madness."

Any more for any more?

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**soroban****Member**- Registered: 2007-03-09
- Posts: 451

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**soroban****Member**- Registered: 2007-03-09
- Posts: 451

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