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#1 2009-10-20 05:49:04
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I lol'd
A man was in his death bed and called his wife. With a weak voice he said:
- Honey, come closer, I need to..., confess something!
-No, no!!, answered the woman, relax and keep quiet. You should make no efforts...
- But I need to die in peace! I must confess!
- Alright.
- The thing is, I went out... with your sister... your mother..., and even your best friend!
- I know, I know. Now be quiet and let the poison work.
"Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true."
Bertrand Russell
#2 2009-10-20 06:09:47
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- Have you followed my advice and slept with the window opened?, the doctor asks the pacient.
- Yes, I have.
- And so, did the asma disappeared?
- No, but my watch, the tv, ipod and laptop did.
An executive visits his chinese friend at the hospital.
- Li kai yang qi guan! the pacient yells.
Despaired, the executive wants to help him, but doesn't understand what he's saying.
- Li kai yang qi guan! says his friend again and again, until he finally dies.
Some months later, the executive goes to Xangai and learns what "Li kai yang qi guan means": "You're stepping on the oxygen tube"!
"Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true."
Bertrand Russell
#3 2009-10-20 06:17:06
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Re: I lol'd
A man is walking in a park when he gets to the psychic's tent. Thinking this might be fun, he enters and sits down.
- Looking at her crystal ball, she says "I see you have two children sir".
-Haha, that's what you think, I have three kids.
- Haha, that's what you think.
"Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true."
Bertrand Russell
#4 2009-10-20 06:34:58
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The perfect man
5 secrets for the perfect relationship: You must find a man that makes you laugh a lot. An independent man. A man that is responsible and sincere. You must find a man that loves to make love.
And most important of all: You must find a way for these four men to never meet each other.
"Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true."
Bertrand Russell
#6 2009-10-20 08:35:22
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Thanks Soroban! 
The new soldiers were having a lesson of "what to do if your parachute doesn't open". They were discussing about the emergency parachute, when one of them raised his hand and asked:
-Sir, if the first parachute doesn't open, how much time do we have to open the emergency one?
The instructor looked him in the eye and said:
- The rest of your life.
"Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true."
Bertrand Russell
#8 2009-10-20 23:47:15
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LOL
When her friends hired a stripper for her birthday,commediant Mary Pfeiffer realised how much she had changed. The guy started taking his clothes off and asked:
- What are you thinking, love?
- That I've been married for too long, because the first thing that came to my mind was "You're going to get these clothes off the floor won't you?"
"Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true."
Bertrand Russell