Math Is Fun Forum

Jai Ganesh

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Registered: 2005-06-28

Posts: 46,190

Good Jokes Pt III

The story is told of the Atheist who accosted a preacher. "Do you believe in eternal life?" The preacher has no time to reply. "Well its a load of rubbish!" shouted the Atheist. "I believe in science, evolution, survival of the fittest, and when we die, that's it! No eternal life, no great judgement, and no God!" The Atheist continues his assault against the preacher repetitiously and tirelessly. "Eternal life! Eternal life! Ha! "Its all pie in the sky when you die." When I die that's it, the end, no eternal life, no nothing. He continues, until he reaches his climax, "I will be buried six feet under when I die and that's it! Nothing! Caput! When I die I am utterly convinced that that will be the end of me!" "Well thank God for that" replies the preacher!

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig. The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!" The farmer looked puzzled and replied, "What's time to a pig?"

A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something." The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."

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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

Toast

Real Member

Registered: 2006-10-08

Posts: 1,321

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

They're great!

power man

Member

Registered: 2006-12-26

Posts: 160

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

lol all the way

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I hate people who hate people.
most people make mistakes, butt not me!
why     is     it     when     you     are     writing     something     important     you     run     out       of        spa

soha

Real Member

Registered: 2006-07-07

Posts: 2,530

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

i liked 2nd one a bit

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"Let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success!"
- David O. McKay

lightning

Real Member

Registered: 2007-02-26

Posts: 2,060

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

me like the doogie one no offence its a bit sad though
shame to us all

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Zappzter - New IM app! Unsure of which room to join? "ZNU" is made to help new users. c:

Jai Ganesh

Administrator

Registered: 2005-06-28

Posts: 46,190

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, 'If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die':

1. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.

2. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood.

3. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal.

4. For dinner, prepare him an especially nice meal.

5. Don't burden him with chores as he probably had a hard day.

6. Don't discuss your problems with him.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said to her. 'You're going to die!' she replied.

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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

JaneFairfax

Member

Registered: 2007-02-23

Posts: 6,868

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

OMG, that’s too funny!

Toast

Real Member

Registered: 2006-10-08

Posts: 1,321

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

LOL! Nice joke nice smilie

lightning

Real Member

Registered: 2007-02-26

Posts: 2,060

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/george.law/ROTFL.gif
now that was funny

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Jai Ganesh

Administrator

Registered: 2005-06-28

Posts: 46,190

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day.

The doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. He turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything."

The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!"

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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

lightning

Real Member

Registered: 2007-02-26

Posts: 2,060

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

there great!

Last edited by lightning (2007-03-08 20:30:59)

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Zappzter - New IM app! Unsure of which room to join? "ZNU" is made to help new users. c:

Devantè

Real Member

Registered: 2006-07-14

Posts: 6,400

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

Nice jokes. They're the ones that I prefer. Long, worded ones.

lightning

Real Member

Registered: 2007-02-26

Posts: 2,060

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

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Zappzter - New IM app! Unsure of which room to join? "ZNU" is made to help new users. c:

soha

Real Member

Registered: 2006-07-07

Posts: 2,530

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

Nice Ones
Wonderful!

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"Let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success!"
- David O. McKay

lightning

Real Member

Registered: 2007-02-26

Posts: 2,060

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

i think ganesh will be like billy connolly

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Zappzter - New IM app! Unsure of which room to join? "ZNU" is made to help new users. c:

burningleo

Member

Registered: 2007-04-10

Posts: 24

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

Nice jokes i love all of them!!!

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What was, was and whats here is now

Jai Ganesh

Administrator

Registered: 2005-06-28

Posts: 46,190

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

A mother writes a letter to her son, who's in another city, saying 'Your sister has just delivered a baby. I don't know whether its a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an uncle or aunt!'

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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

U7109

Real Member

Registered: 2007-03-19

Posts: 485

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL THAT'S SO FUNNY!!!

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"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination," ~ John Lennon

burningleo

Member

Registered: 2007-04-10

Posts: 24

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

lol nice one

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What was, was and whats here is now

kpeter66

Member

Registered: 2007-05-09

Posts: 20

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

I absolutely LOVED those jokes. Their great!!

burningleo

Member

Registered: 2007-04-10

Posts: 24

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

these jokes are all awesome
Have any more?

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What was, was and whats here is now

U7109

Real Member

Registered: 2007-03-19

Posts: 485

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

OMG, that’s too funny! http://homepage.ntlworld.com/george.law/ROTFL.gif

How do you get that cool smiley, JaneFairfax?

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"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination," ~ John Lennon

Jai Ganesh

Administrator

Registered: 2005-06-28

Posts: 46,190

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

Choco,

use the url of the image with the following code

[img= .........][/img]

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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

Devantè

Real Member

Registered: 2006-07-14

Posts: 6,400

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

Not worth the trouble in my opinion ...

JaneFairfax

Member

Registered: 2007-02-23

Posts: 6,868

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

Chocó didn’t do it on purpose. IMG tags are automatically replaced with URL ones when you quote a post.

To Chocó (and anyone else who are wondering): http://bestsmileys.com/lol/