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#1 2009-10-12 00:19:34

Real Member
Registered: 2006-07-07
Posts: 2,530

funny airplane annoncements...

Here are some humorous statements made by airline flight crews...

"As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position."

"Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

"We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane."

"Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately."

"Good morning. As we leave Dallas, it's warm, the sun is shining, and the birds are singing. We are going to Charlotte, where it's dark, windy and raining. Why in the world y'all wanna go there I really don't know."

Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

Pilot - "Folks, if you were with us last week, we never got around to mentioning that it was National Procrastination day. If you get a chance this week, please try to celebrate it. If you can't get to it, then maybe try to do it at the weekend, but no big rush. Have a nice day."

And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

As we waited just off the runway for another airliner to cross in front of us, some of the passengers were beginning to retrieve luggage from the overhead bins. The head steward announced on the intercom, "This aircraft is equipped with a video surveillance system that monitors the cabin during taxiing. Any passengers not remaining in their seats until the aircraft comes to a full and complete stop at the gate will be strip-searched asthey leave the aircraft.

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella...WHOA..!"

"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children."

"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight!"

"Let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success!" smile smile
- David O. McKay


#2 2009-10-12 13:29:16

From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 109,606

Re: funny airplane annoncements...

Hi soha;

"Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately."

Tough crew!

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Always satisfy the Prime Directive of getting the right answer above all else.


#3 2009-10-12 15:35:20

Registered: 2007-03-09
Posts: 452

Re: funny airplane annoncements...

And a few more . . .

"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have
them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money
more than Southwest Airlines."

Afrter a particularly bumpy landing on an American Airline flight:
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in
your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the captain taxis
what's left of the plane to the gate."

"We thank you for flying with us today. And the next time you get
the insane urge to go blasting through the skies ihn a pressurized
metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."

"Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XX to YY. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab
into the buckle and pull tight. It works like every other seat belt. If you don't know to operate
one, you probably shouldn't be out in pubic unsupervised. In the event of a sudden drop in
pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask,
and pull it over your face. If you have a small child, secure your mask before assisting
with theirs. If you travelling with two small children, decided now which one love more."


#4 2009-10-12 18:47:30

Real Member
Registered: 2006-07-07
Posts: 2,530

Re: funny airplane annoncements...

nice ones soroban.....

Really tough crew , bobbym

"Let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success!" smile smile
- David O. McKay


#5 2009-10-16 13:23:54

Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,883

Re: funny airplane annoncements...

They're wonderful, soha! lol Awesome, soroban! I'm just glad I haven't heard one like that... yet.

Last edited by Tigeree (2009-10-16 13:24:35)

People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.


#6 2010-01-18 23:13:48

Registered: 2010-01-12
Posts: 9

Re: funny airplane annoncements...

wonderful yaar.. wink


#7 2010-01-27 14:23:29

Registered: 2010-01-27
Posts: 18

Re: funny airplane annoncements...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha i <3 these jokes ! ! ! lol


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