A football fan was given a ticket to the Super Bowl,
but when he arrives, he finds that his seat is in the very last tow.
Halfway through the first quarter, he notices an empty seat
about four rows from the field and on the 50-yard line.
Taking a chance, he makes his way to the empty seat.
He asks the man in the next seat, "Pardon me,
but is anyone sitting here?" The man says no.
The fan happily sits down and says, "Incredible!
Who would buy a seat like this for the Super Bowl
and not use it?"
"Well, the seat actually belongs to me," said the man.
"I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.
This is the first Super Bowl we haven't attended together
since we got marrieed in 1972."
"I'm really sorry to hear that," said the fan, "but surely
you have a relative or close friend to take the seat?"
"No," said the man, "they're all at the funeral."
A man releases a genie and is granted one wish.
"Well," says the man, "I've always wanted to visit Hawaii,
but I'm afraid of flying and I get terribly seasicik.
I wish you would build me a highway to Hawaii."
The genie says, "That would take millions of cubic miles
of concrete and a million tons of steel. It would block
shipping lanes and the ecological impact would be
devatating. I can't possibly do that. Make another wish."
The man thinks a bit and says, "I'd like to understand women."
There is a pause, then the genie says, "Do you want two lanes or four?"