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#1 Re: Jokes » Very short jokes! » Today 01:52:49

Q: Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?
A: They were right for each other

Q: Why didn't the Romans find algebra very challenging?
A: Because X was always 10

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi

Q: Why couldn't the angle get a loan?
A: His parents wouldn't Cosine.

Q: What is a bird's favorite type of math?
A: Owl-gebra

Q: What's the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?
A: A natural log cabin!

Q: What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach?
A: A Tangent.

Q: Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
A: It was a 'mean' thing to say!

Q: Why did the polynomial plant die?
A: Its roots were imaginary.

Q: Why does nobody talk to circles?
A: Because there is no point!

Q: Which triangles are the coldest?
A: Ice-sosceles triangles

Q: Who invented the Round Table?
A: Sir Cumference

Q: Why is Ms. Radian such a good reporter?
A: She covers the story from every angle.

#2 Re: Jokes » Limericks » Yesterday 23:52:04

1.       If inside a circle a line
     Hits the center and goes from spine to spine
       And the line's length is "d",
       The circumference will be
    d times 3.14159.

2.       There was an old man who said, "Do
    Tell me how I should add two and two.
       I think more and more
       That it makes about four --
    But I fear that is almost too few."


3.    There was a young lady called Kate,
    Whose maths was right up-to-date.
       She said, "It is fun
       When three 3's are one --
    Which they are with modulo 8."


4.    Little Jack Horner sat in a corner,
    Trying to evaluate .
       He disclaimed rule of thumb,
       Found an infinite sum,
    And exclaimed "It's REAL, nary an i."


5.    A mathematician named Ray
    Says extraction of roots is child's play.
       You don't need equations
       Or long calculations;
    Just hot water to run on the tray.


6.    Said Mrs. Isosceles Tri,
    "That I'm sharp I've no wish to deny;
       But I do not dare
       To be perfectly square --
    I'm sure if I did I should die!"


7.    An arithmetic teacher named Jones
    Was reduced by the new math to groans,
       And shortly expired.
       Since he has not retired,
    He now serves as Napier's Bones.


8.    A mathematician confided
    That a Moebius band is one-sided.
       And you'll get quite a laugh
       If you cut one in half,
    For it stays in one piece when divided.


9.    A graduate student at Trinity
    Computed the square of infinity.
       But it gave him the fidgets
       To put down the digits,
    So he dropped math and took up divinity.


10.    A mathematician from Boole,
    Used to mispronounce words like a fool.
       He spoke of "stastistics",
       And "intragel" ballistics,
    "Yuler" circles and "Hospital's" rule.


11.    There was a young student from Rye,
    Who worked out the value of .
       "It happens," said he,
       "That it's just over 3,
    Though I'd rather you don't ask me why."


12.    There was a young student from Crewe
    Who learned how to count in base 2.
       His sums were all done
       With 0 and 1,
    And he found it much simpler to do.


13.    There was a young fellow called Dan,
    Who knew all about sin, cos and tan.
       He talked rather big
       Of his knowledge of trig --
    He did seem a clever young man.


14.    A modern young lady called Rita,
    Buys ribbons and cloth by the meter.
       She gets bacon and ham
       Weighed out by the gram,
    And orders her milk by the liter.


15.    There was a maths student called Hector,
    Who couldn't tell scalar from vector.
       "I'm quite at a loss
       To tell a dot from a cross --
    I ought not to work in this sector."

#3 Re: Jokes » Very short jokes! » Yesterday 22:49:13

Thanks, Olinguito!

*     *     *     *     *      *

Escalators don’t break down… they just turn into stairs.

*     *     *     *     *      *

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

*     *     *     *     *      *

I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was missing!

*     *     *     *     *      *

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.


*     *     *     *     *      *

You can always double your drive space.
How?
By deleting Windows!


*     *     *     *     *      *

But for gravity, I'd be a high-flyer.


*     *     *     *     *      *

Girl: Do you hate me?
Boy: Nope, I don't.. I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence.


*     *     *     *     *      *

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick!

*     *     *     *     *      *

Where are otters from?
Otter Space

*     *     *     *     *      *

'Are you athletic?' Yes, I surf the Web.

*     *     *     *     *      *

Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.

*     *     *     *     *      *

I am forever alone.. Ops.. Correction, forever available.

*     *     *     *     *      *

So much to do, so little time.

*     *     *     *     *      *

It was love at first site - The love with Internet.

*     *     *     *     *      *

#4 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » General Quiz » Yesterday 18:00:19

The Answer #5387 (Boston) is correct. Good work!

#5389. Who wrote the words 'brevity is the soul of wit'?

#5390. In which year was the 'Booker Prize' (which was rename as the 'Man Booker Prize') established?

#5 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » Doc, Doc! » Yesterday 17:15:58

Hi bobbym,

.

#386. Name the medical term : An abnormally low number of neutrophils. Neutrophils usually make up 60 to 70% of circulating white blood cells and serve as the primary defense against infections by destroying bacteria in the blood. Hence, patients with this disease are more susceptible to bacterial infections and, without prompt medical attention, the condition may become life-threatening and deadly (neutropenic sepsis).

#6 Re: Jokes » Very short jokes! » Yesterday 16:55:49

Thanks, pazzle!

*     *     *     *     *      *

A family took a trip to Disney World. After three exhausting days, they headed home. As they drove away, the son waved and said, “Goodbye, Mickey.”

The daughter waved and said, “Goodbye, Minnie.”

The husband waved, rather weakly, and said, “Goodbye, Money.”

*     *     *     *     *      *

Mrs. Peterson went to the doctor: “I’m terribly worried about my boy. He thinks he’s a chicken.”
The doctor asked, “And how long has this been going on?”
“Almost a year,” Mrs. Peterson replied.
“Well for goodness sakes! Why didn’t you bring him to see me sooner?”
“Because we needed the eggs!”

*     *     *     *     *      *

It was the end of the school year and Joey’s mother asked: “And were the exam questions difficult?”
“They weren’t bad at all,” her son replied. “It was the answers that gave me all the trouble.”

*     *     *     *     *      *

A doctor says to his patient, “I have a bad news and a worse news”.
“Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” – asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That’s terrible,” said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

*     *     *     *     *      *

With a frown wrinkling his forehead, little Johnny was working hard at his father’s desk scratching a pen along a page of his paper. His mother asked, “Are you writing a letter to your little girlfriend, Son?”
“Nope,” he grunted, “It’s a letter to myself.”
“Well,” she smiled, “What are you going to write about?”
“How should I know?” he squeaked, “I haven’t received it yet.”

*     *     *     *     *      *

A man called his friend’s house and a small voice greeted him.
“Is your Daddy there?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Could I speak with him?”
“He’s busy,” the little voice replied.
“Well, can I speak to your mother?”
“Nope, she is busy, too.”
“Well then, let me talk with your brother.”
“He’s busy, too.”
“For goodness sakes, what are they so busy doing?”
“They are looking for me!”

*     *     *     *     *      *
What can you put in your right hand but not your left?
Your left elbow.

#7 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » Oral puzzles » 2015-01-23 23:52:40

Hi,

.

#2182. If the product of the first four consecutive terms of a Geometric Progression is 256 and if the common ratio is 4 and the first term is positive, then find its 3rd term.

#8 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » 10 second questions » 2015-01-23 23:39:48

Hi,

The solution

#5350. Find the sum : 1 + 3 + 5 + .... + 51.

#9 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » General Quiz » 2015-01-23 22:22:42

Hi bobbym,

#5387. Where or what is 'Beantown'?

#5388. Where or what is 'Blighty'?

#10 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » Doc, Doc! » 2015-01-23 21:51:08

Hi bobbym,

#385. Name the medical term / condition : Skin disorder seen in 4–5% of the world's population and is one of the most common types of urticaria, in which the skin becomes raised and inflamed when stroked, scratched, rubbed, and sometimes even slapped (also known as 'skin writing'.

#11 Re: Exercises » Compute the solution: » 2015-01-23 17:52:00

Hi,

The solution 122 is correct. Good work!

123. Find the equation of the straight line whose end points are the point of intersection of the straight lines 2x-3y+4 = 0, x-2y+3 = 0 and the mid-point of the line joining the points (3.-2) and (-5,8).

#12 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » Doc, Doc! » 2015-01-23 14:57:00

Hi bobbym,

Marvelous, bobbym!

#384. Name the medical term : Position of a baby in the uterus such that the head of the baby is presenting first and is tilted to the shoulder, causing the fetal head to no longer be in line with the birth canal. It is significantly different from a shoulder presentation, in which the shoulder is presenting first. Many babies enter the pelvis in this presentation, and most of it corrects spontaneously as part of the normal birthing process. Persistence of this can cause problems with dystocia, and has often been associated with cesarean birth.

#13 Re: Exercises » Compute the solution: » 2015-01-23 14:32:16

Hi bobbym,

The solution 120 (ii) is perfect. Immaculate!

122. What term of the series 9 + 3 + 1 + ...... is

#14 Re: Maths Is Fun - Suggestions and Comments » Dimensions (Script) » 2015-01-23 14:24:42

Hi MathsIsFun,

The script is lucid and unambiguous. 

I too think of time as the fourth dimension (The Time-Space continuum).

#15 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » Doc, Doc! » 2015-01-23 03:10:13

Hi Olinguito,

The Answer

is perfect. Keep it up!

#383. Name the medical term :  It consists of a vertical layer of fibrous tissue, extending throughout the entire length of the median plane of the tongue, though not quite reaching the dorsum. It is thicker behind than in front, and occasionally contains a small fibrocartilage, about 6 mm. in length. It is well displayed by making a vertical section across the organ.

#16 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » Doc, Doc! » 2015-01-22 20:47:27

Hi bobbym,

#382. Name the medical term : The gaps (approximately 1 micrometer in length) formed between the myelin sheaths generated by different cells. A myelin sheath is a many-layered coating, largely composed of a fatty substance called myelin, that wraps around the axon of a neuron and very efficiently insulates it.

#17 Re: Exercises » Compute the solution: » 2015-01-22 20:27:08

Hi bobbym,

The solution 120 (a) is correct. Marvelous!

121. A hollow cylindrical copper pipe is 21 decimeters long. Its outer and inner diameters are 10 centimeters and 6 centimeters respectively, find the volume of the copper used in making the pipe.

.

#18 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » Doc, Doc! » 2015-01-22 19:22:18

Hi bobbym,

The Answer #380 (Tachycardia) is correct. Fabulous!

#381. Name the medical term : FSGS : It is a cause of nephrotic syndrome in children and adolescents, as well as an important cause of kidney failure in adults. It accounts for about a sixth of the cases of nephrotic syndrome. (Minimal change disease (MCD) is by far the most common cause of nephrotic syndrome in children: MCD and primary FSGS may have a similar cause.

#19 Re: Exercises » Compute the solution: » 2015-01-22 19:11:14

Hi,

120. Solve the quadratic equation

by completing the square.

#20 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » Doc, Doc! » 2015-01-22 18:30:20

Hi,

#380. Name the medical term : A rapid heart rate, especially one above 100 beats per minute in an adult.

#21 Re: Introductions » Good Day....Pleasant Looking Place » 2015-01-20 14:44:55

Hi Timothy (GigaStudy),

Welcome to the forum!

#22 Re: Introductions » Hello World » 2015-01-19 15:49:24

Hi Amartyanil,

Welcome to the forum!

#23 Re: Introductions » Greetings everybody! » 2015-01-18 16:53:56

Hi Ajay Mohan,

Welcome to the forum!

The two Administrators - MathsIsFun, bobbym (Who is away temporarily) and bob bundy, a moderator, Real Members (like Agnishom, , anonimnystefy - the most active of them) Legendary Members, Members and scores of Math enthusiasts are always forthcoming.

#24 Re: Jokes » Very short jokes! » 2015-01-13 23:13:13

Thanks, Agnishom!

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together!
*******************
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.
What's come over you?
Two cars and a bus!
*******************
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon.
Sit there and don't stir.
*******************
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a billiard ball.
Get back in the queue.
*******************
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.
*******************
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there's two of me.
One at a time, please.
********************.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you.
I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture.
*******************

#25 Jokes » Very short jokes! » 2015-01-11 16:46:14

ganesh
Replies: 8

1. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

2. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

3. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

4. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He's now a seasoned veteran.

5. What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.

6.15. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

7. How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

8. "I stand corrected," said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

9. Wanna hear a joke about Potassium? (whether they say 'yes' or 'no'): K.

10. There's no "I" in Denial.

11. Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.

12. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

13. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.

14. Have I told you this deja vu joke before?

15. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be...

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