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#1 2007-03-26 07:01:49

espeon
Real Member
Registered: 2006-02-05
Posts: 2,586

Ethereal Reflections

I made a fan fiction entry called Ethereal Reflections. It isn't finished yet and only has 3 chapters but I think its quite good so far. Its an ItaSaku but I wrote it so anyone could understand it. Basically I want to know if the storyline, description and technique of writing I'm using is good. I already know from Devante about cliches. If you've joined fanfiction.net please review it. thank you smile

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3451697/1/

(to get to the next chapter scroll down to the bottom or to the top and click on the arrows pointing >>> or just select which chapter. The chapter chooser is always on the bottom or top right)


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#2 2007-03-26 08:18:14

rida
Real Member
Registered: 2006-09-25
Posts: 839

Re: Ethereal Reflections

I joined and reviewed it, haven't I ?


Dreams don't come true, you gotta make them come true.

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#3 2007-03-26 08:30:53

Devantè
Real Member
Registered: 2006-07-14
Posts: 6,400

Re: Ethereal Reflections

Also, I've noticed all your 'stories' [ and I know someone will argue here ] have the same tone to them. It isn't actually good to keep writing in the same writing style, try to experiment with different styles with different tones.

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#4 2007-03-26 11:01:29

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: Ethereal Reflections

Urgh. Fanfiction. I have little to no qualms about the way you write, but, as Devante mentioned, your writing is all about a similar setting and all seems to stick to the same style. I've written some brief outtakes of my own creations before and I actively roleplay, less than normal now, many different original characters, varying the style of writing and the settings within, to get a different feel for the tones and moods as well.


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

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#5 2007-03-27 03:17:54

espeon
Real Member
Registered: 2006-02-05
Posts: 2,586

Re: Ethereal Reflections

o ok smile thanks for ur reveiws


Presenting the Prinny dance.
Take this dood! Huh doood!!! HUH DOOOOD!?!? DOOD HUH!!!!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#6 2007-03-27 03:31:15

rida
Real Member
Registered: 2006-09-25
Posts: 839

Re: Ethereal Reflections

But J.K Rowling uses the same type of style in every book and she still gets thousands.


Dreams don't come true, you gotta make them come true.

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#7 2007-03-27 05:55:58

espeon
Real Member
Registered: 2006-02-05
Posts: 2,586

Re: Ethereal Reflections

Yeah but she's overrated...

Since I'm being compared with her I am now depressed...


Presenting the Prinny dance.
Take this dood! Huh doood!!! HUH DOOOOD!?!? DOOD HUH!!!!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#8 2007-03-27 08:10:19

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: Ethereal Reflections

That's because J.K. Rowling is writing a series of books. Her style should stay the same. However, Espeon is attempting to expanding her writing skills and show others what she can do; I'm sure a variety of genres and styles would expand her skills and understanding of writing, and so on and so forth.


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

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#9 2007-03-27 08:47:18

rida
Real Member
Registered: 2006-09-25
Posts: 839

Re: Ethereal Reflections

espeon wrote:

Yeah but she's overrated...

Since I'm being compared with her I am now depressed...

What I mean is your fanfics and stories a way better than her's and she gets thousands for total math while you get nothing for good quality stuff.


Dreams don't come true, you gotta make them come true.

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#10 2007-03-27 11:24:57

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: Ethereal Reflections

That's just an extreme case of flattery and over-exaggerated opinion, Rida. In the forefront, Espeon's writing is not as good as J.K. Rowlings. Nowhere near. For one, Espeon is writing non-canon material stolen from the intellectual property of the creators of Naruto. She is doing nothing new nor is she bringing out any original ideas of her own; she is merely writing a story based on someone elses already published idea.

However, J.K Rowling is capable of bringing out books based around her own characters with a some-what original idea (due to no copyright inplace before hand about said ideas) and she is capable of writing much more than simple expansions of another story. Her books get bigger and bigger, much to say, so big it takes me 6 hours to read the last one. (Note: It took my 6 hours to read Digital Fortress by Dan Brown as well). J.K. Rowling can hold an audience captive with her writings, enough to make them buy her books over and over again, because she has an idea that is likable and not just an obvious rehash, like Espeon's writing.


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

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#11 2007-03-27 12:37:09

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,711

Re: Ethereal Reflections

Don't forget that popular does not mean GOOD, but it does make money. Writers always struggle with that.

It applies in other areas. I read somewhere that Mel Gibson's first love is quality drama, and he only makes a popular action flick to rake in the cash, which he spends on supporting "higher quality" films that lose money.


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

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#12 2007-03-30 03:39:49

espeon
Real Member
Registered: 2006-02-05
Posts: 2,586

Re: Ethereal Reflections

true... but zach you must understand... a fan fic is making your own story up. youonly use the same characters and their personalities and their strengths and weaknesses. Too make a good story you have to make your own scenes so then the most unexpected thing happens out of suspense. JK rowling didnt make her own story up. She copied someone...


Presenting the Prinny dance.
Take this dood! Huh doood!!! HUH DOOOOD!?!? DOOD HUH!!!!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#13 2007-03-30 19:25:32

Zhylliolom
Real Member
Registered: 2005-09-05
Posts: 412

Re: Ethereal Reflections

As far as I can tell Rowling was never accused of copying the story of Harry Potter. The matter at hand was that she supposedly stole the term and idea of a "muggle" and created a character similar to "Larry Potter", both concepts claimed to be the intellectual property of Nancy Stouffer. It was determined that Stouffer's evidence was doctored and she failed to prove anything. Here are some links about the controversy:

http://www.eyrie.org/~robotech/stouffer.htm

http://www.usatoday.com/money/media/200 … suit_x.htm

So if the claims of Stouffer were actually true, Rowling would have at most been copying the description of a character and a term used by another author. At the very least you do the same thing when you write a fanfiction; it's not a fanfiction if all of the characters and concepts are original. Sure, you are making your own story up using those characters, but I'm sure that your story is based off of the original storyline in some sense.

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#14 2007-03-30 22:37:01

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: Ethereal Reflections

No, a 'fan fic' is taking someone elses idea and working on it. It's not really your idea, it's not original and its not really all that great. Your accusations on J.K. Rowling's work are without a shred of evidence and can be considered slander.

'k.


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

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#15 2007-03-31 04:50:32

espeon
Real Member
Registered: 2006-02-05
Posts: 2,586

Re: Ethereal Reflections

'whatever. Harry potter is overrated anyway...


Presenting the Prinny dance.
Take this dood! Huh doood!!! HUH DOOOOD!?!? DOOD HUH!!!!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#16 2007-03-31 09:32:26

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: Ethereal Reflections

So is Naruto. You don't hear me making any unsupported claims about it though.


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

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#17 2007-03-31 23:05:07

espeon
Real Member
Registered: 2006-02-05
Posts: 2,586

Re: Ethereal Reflections

Zach wrote:

So is Naruto. You don't hear me making any unsupported claims about it though.

Just did...

And anyway there IS a reason why Jk Rowling's harry potter is overrated and copied...
At least Naruto is original...

Anyway here are reasons

1.She copied many comic books and fairytales and 'slightly' changed the names of some of the characters
2.She probably got rated so high out of pity... Before she wrote harry potter she had to write on tissues in a cafe. And just to sit there she had to buy 1 coffee and she'd have to make it last... She was extremely poor.
3.Harry Potter is very unoriginal

and i can think of more but I can't be bothered...


Presenting the Prinny dance.
Take this dood! Huh doood!!! HUH DOOOOD!?!? DOOD HUH!!!!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#18 2007-03-31 23:36:12

Zhylliolom
Real Member
Registered: 2005-09-05
Posts: 412

Re: Ethereal Reflections

1. Can you list some comic books and fairytales that Rowling copied, such that there is some decent proof that there was direct and intentional copying?
2. What does being poor have to do with stealing elements of a story or being overrated? I doubt that many people got into Harry Potter just because they heard Rowling was so poor when she wrote the first book and they wanted to support her. I don't think many people even knew about her economic status when they became fans of the book. People like her books because they are likable, not because they pity her.
3. This appears to be somewhat of a restatement of 1.

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#19 2007-04-01 02:44:44

espeon
Real Member
Registered: 2006-02-05
Posts: 2,586

Re: Ethereal Reflections

1.Worst witch is one story or comic I think. There are overs but I can't remember them...
2.Maybe they are likeable but she copied another author's idea...


Presenting the Prinny dance.
Take this dood! Huh doood!!! HUH DOOOOD!?!? DOOD HUH!!!!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#20 2007-04-01 05:48:55

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: Ethereal Reflections

1. Worst Witch was about Witches and Wizards. True. But, then again, this is still a concept that's been around for a LONG time. It's also about how the fact that Witch isn't very good, but seems to get over some sort of school troubles. Harry Potter is about a wizard who's good at what he does and gets over aversities that are more than mere 'school troubles'.
2. No, you're just saying that probably because you heard some really bad bias propaganda against her. There is no proof or convinction of her ever copying someone's idea. Alot of ideas take basis from other ideas, this does not mean they're stolen. An original idea is fairly difficult to come by.

~ Naruto isn't original. It's taken aspects from many other things. Like ninjas? Not original. Seals? Nope. Saw that long before Naruto. Summoning? Nah. Snakes? Woah no. Chakra? Ki, anyone? Naruto is not original, it builds upon the stereotype of a young boy with big potential. Whoopdefriggendoo. I've seen it done many times before. It's kinda boring really. The real problem is that it's about KIDS who can somehow do battle against more experienced peoples. It doesn't really make all that sense. Also the fact that everyone seems to have their own SPECIAL MOVE that are so rare and special or something.

Fairy Tales are used very often. The Harry Potter is a fantasy story, why can it not take fantasy elements that are common and use them? It helps for people to understand and relate to them.

You've only proven why you think Harry Potter is overrated because you don't like it and seem to have a really big grudge against it for no apparent reason apart from some false information that was given to you.

In other words, stop whining.


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

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#21 2007-04-01 06:34:07

espeon
Real Member
Registered: 2006-02-05
Posts: 2,586

Re: Ethereal Reflections

In other words...

I'll stick to my anime ( which IS original. You haven't grasped why its so good yet. I'll let you eventually figure it out)

And you can stick to harry potter which I totally despise...


Presenting the Prinny dance.
Take this dood! Huh doood!!! HUH DOOOOD!?!? DOOD HUH!!!!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#22 2007-04-01 07:26:37

lightning
Real Member
Registered: 2007-02-26
Posts: 2,060

Re: Ethereal Reflections

you hate harry potter too?? i HATE it i even made a peom *ahem* harry potter picked a snotter and wiped it in it's homework jotter.....


Zappzter - New IM app! Unsure of which room to join? "ZNU" is made to help new users. c:

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#23 2007-04-03 03:31:47

espeon
Real Member
Registered: 2006-02-05
Posts: 2,586

Re: Ethereal Reflections

Harry potter misleded and copied
Its authoress stole and buried-
the real author


Presenting the Prinny dance.
Take this dood! Huh doood!!! HUH DOOOOD!?!? DOOD HUH!!!!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#24 2007-04-04 13:27:33

U7109
Real Member
Registered: 2007-03-19
Posts: 485

Re: Ethereal Reflections

Give Harry Potter a rating:

0: ULTRA BAD!!! SHOULD BE DESTROYED!!! IT ISN'T GOOD!!!
1: Rubbish!
2: Very bad
3: Not bad
4: Bad
5: OK
6: Great
7: Quite good
8: Almost great
9: Very very good
10: ULTRA GOOD!!!

Last edited by Choco (2007-04-04 13:28:04)


"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination," ~ John Lennon

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#25 2007-04-05 00:38:58

espeon
Real Member
Registered: 2006-02-05
Posts: 2,586

Re: Ethereal Reflections

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

^^^
Thats my rating... I hate harry potter...


Presenting the Prinny dance.
Take this dood! Huh doood!!! HUH DOOOOD!?!? DOOD HUH!!!!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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