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#1 2012-01-28 19:26:32

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,883

Milk

Heard this random joke on my travels.

A woman finds she is out of milk, she asks her husband to go to the shop & get a carton.
"& if they have eggs, I'll take 12." she adds.
Her husband goes out & comes back with 12 cartons of milk.
"Why did you get 12 cartons of milk?" she asks.
His response: "They had eggs."


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#2 2012-01-28 20:35:39

phrontister
Real Member
From: The Land of Tomorrow
Registered: 2009-07-12
Posts: 4,804

Re: Milk

Hi Tigeree,

I like that! smile

It also features here.


"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

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#3 2012-01-29 01:35:30

anonimnystefy
Real Member
From: Harlan's World
Registered: 2011-05-23
Posts: 16,049

Re: Milk

hi Tee

haven't seen you around in a while!

nice joke,btw!


“Here lies the reader who will never open this book. He is forever dead.
“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
The knowledge of some things as a function of age is a delta function.

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#4 2012-01-29 02:16:27

bobbym
bumpkin
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 109,606

Re: Milk

Hi phrontister and Tigeree;

Yes, that joke was mentioned before. To me it makes perfect sense.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Always satisfy the Prime Directive of getting the right answer above all else.

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#5 2012-01-29 02:58:20

phrontister
Real Member
From: The Land of Tomorrow
Registered: 2009-07-12
Posts: 4,804

Re: Milk

That the husband misunderstood his wife's instructions comes as no surprise...males cannot fathom the female mind. Anyway, whichever option he chose would have been the wrong one!

But this is actually a success story for the husband...his wife never asked him to go shopping for her again.

And from the preponderance of female shoppers over male, there are many such success stories.


"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

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#6 2012-01-29 03:07:25

bobbym
bumpkin
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 109,606

Re: Milk

I have to debate that point. The wifes instructions were vague at best. The poor beleaguered husband was only following orders to the letter. I as a bachelor am forced to do my own shopping. Forced to admit this in the interest of truth, I am a far better shopper than any woman I have ever seen.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Always satisfy the Prime Directive of getting the right answer above all else.

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#7 2012-01-29 15:51:46

phrontister
Real Member
From: The Land of Tomorrow
Registered: 2009-07-12
Posts: 4,804

Re: Milk

I don't disagree with you there, Bobby...quite clearly the wife's instructions are ambiguous.

The innate programmer in you would opt for the husband's choice, but (and I could be wrong here, 'cos I'm just reading a bit between the lines) in doing so you'd join him in the trap set by that designing woman. Maybe she was out to increase the 'here we go again' points in her game of one-upmanship, in which case the poor blighter would've had no chance at all of correctly discerning his wife's actual intention.

Her instructions had "misconstrue me" written all over them...he just didn't spot it, resulting in him starring in her carefully crafted joke!

I'm a terrible shopper. I either come home empty-handed or with a truckload of stuff that wasn't on my list. sad


"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

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#8 2012-01-29 15:56:31

bobbym
bumpkin
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 109,606

Re: Milk

Now you are talking turkey and in the good way. The wifes villainy has been revealed. I vote for the death sentence in this case. Why, you might ask, should she suffer such a punishment for her crimes? I meant for the husband so that he can be in peace.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Always satisfy the Prime Directive of getting the right answer above all else.

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#9 2012-01-29 16:24:24

phrontister
Real Member
From: The Land of Tomorrow
Registered: 2009-07-12
Posts: 4,804

Re: Milk

Given the pandemic, all-pervading influence of such wifely villany throughout our society, imposing similar punishment to all wives (well, fair is fair) would lead to their extinction...and hence our gender's, eventually.

Then we would all be at peace!


"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

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#10 2012-01-29 19:20:14

bobbym
bumpkin
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 109,606

Re: Milk

Then we would all be at peace!

It does sound peaceful.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Always satisfy the Prime Directive of getting the right answer above all else.

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#11 2012-01-29 23:27:24

anonimnystefy
Real Member
From: Harlan's World
Registered: 2011-05-23
Posts: 16,049

Re: Milk

phrontister wrote:

Given the pandemic, all-pervading influence of such wifely villany throughout our society, imposing similar punishment to all wives (well, fair is fair) would lead to their extinction...and hence our gender's, eventually.

Then we would all be at peace!

well,just because you destroy all wives doesn't mean you destroy all women! the are still the unmarried,single women.and anyways,i don't agree.if someone doesn't like their wife they should just divorce if it's worth it! dunno


“Here lies the reader who will never open this book. He is forever dead.
“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
The knowledge of some things as a function of age is a delta function.

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#12 2012-01-30 00:26:15

bobbym
bumpkin
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 109,606

Re: Milk

A case of mistaken intent. I said the poor husband was to be killed, to be put out of his misery.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Always satisfy the Prime Directive of getting the right answer above all else.

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#13 2012-01-30 02:16:58

phrontister
Real Member
From: The Land of Tomorrow
Registered: 2009-07-12
Posts: 4,804

Re: Milk

bobbym wrote:

....to be put out of his misery.

"....to be put out of his and her misery" would kill two birds with one stone!

anonimnystefy, you took Tigeree's bait. wink


"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

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#14 2012-01-30 02:27:00

bobbym
bumpkin
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 109,606

Re: Milk

"....to be put out of his and her misery" would kill two birds with one stone!

Yes, true enough.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Always satisfy the Prime Directive of getting the right answer above all else.

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#15 2012-01-30 15:13:20

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,883

Re: Milk

Hey Phro,

Wow, I really can't remember anything I comment on anymore, & what's worse is it took me a while to get the second time!!! But that's probably because I'm a woman isn't it? & I'm single. & a terrible shopper. But I have to agree, from what I've seen wives seem like terrible people. One reason I'll never be one.
Little confused about the bait thing, though.... but I can still be single & hone my womanly one-upmanship.


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#16 2012-01-30 17:21:14

phrontister
Real Member
From: The Land of Tomorrow
Registered: 2009-07-12
Posts: 4,804

Re: Milk

Hi Tigeree!

Totally disregard that drivel I wrote about villanous wives (sorry, Bobby). That was just some bait to reel in a comment or two from you. And I know that you know that I know that you know that you need to add several kilos of salt to some (all?) of what I say in some (all?) of my posts...or lever my tongue out from my cheek before I start typing.

So that you know for this next bit...no added salt required:
Most wives I know - and I know many,  a lot of them quite well - are terrific people who love their families and their wifely roles, which they wouldn't change for the world. I see so many positives in being a wife... smile

Not that I can understand it all, being just a dumb male. dizzy

Last edited by phrontister (2012-01-30 17:41:45)


"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

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#17 2012-01-30 17:45:45

bobbym
bumpkin
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 109,606

Re: Milk

Hmmm. I never included all wives. I was just talking about the one in the story. But, I am afraid the one generalization I did make is still true.

As for the other posters comments, I do not believe in one-upmanship. I remember the immortal words of Michael C;

Vincent C: (after killing an employee of a rival )I sent him a message.

Michael C: Now he has to send you a message.

Endless escalation. It is said that the island those two come from have whole towns with no men. All of them being killed by vendettas.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Always satisfy the Prime Directive of getting the right answer above all else.

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#18 2012-01-31 12:40:10

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,883

Re: Milk

Okay, phro, didn't understand a lot of that first bit, but I get where you're coming from. & I was probably thinking about the one wife I know, anyway. I was just thinking how irritating it might be to have one, I hear a lot of complaints about nagging. Still, I've told this to many a man, don't be so naive, you don't know what you're getting yourself into.

Another thing, you wanted my comments? You've made me the happiest girl in the world! touched


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#19 2012-01-31 14:46:44

bobbym
bumpkin
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 109,606

Re: Milk

As soon as I figure out who the heck phro is I would like to talk to him/her.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Always satisfy the Prime Directive of getting the right answer above all else.

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#20 2012-01-31 18:13:15

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,883

Re: Milk

Oh, get over it! You know I abbreviate everyone's names!
It catches on, I know at least two users who's names have been abbreviated & wasn't my doing.


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#21 2012-01-31 21:06:03

anonimnystefy
Real Member
From: Harlan's World
Registered: 2011-05-23
Posts: 16,049

Re: Milk

hi Tee

well i know more: me(Stefy),you(Tee),Jane Fairfax(JF),John E. Franklin(JEF).

and i think bobbz knows who you mean,but just likes to present himself as funny and clueless.


“Here lies the reader who will never open this book. He is forever dead.
“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
The knowledge of some things as a function of age is a delta function.

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#22 2012-01-31 21:36:55

bobbym
bumpkin
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 109,606

Re: Milk

Who is bobbz? This is contagious.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Always satisfy the Prime Directive of getting the right answer above all else.

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#23 2012-02-01 09:01:59

anonimnystefy
Real Member
From: Harlan's World
Registered: 2011-05-23
Posts: 16,049

Re: Milk

hi bobbym

bobz is my and Tee's close friend,but he tends to play clueless,just like you.


“Here lies the reader who will never open this book. He is forever dead.
“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
The knowledge of some things as a function of age is a delta function.

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#24 2012-02-01 10:15:51

bobbym
bumpkin
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 109,606

Re: Milk

Well I do not like him. If he comes to Vegas I will certainly bludgeon him. You tell him that for me.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Always satisfy the Prime Directive of getting the right answer above all else.

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#25 2012-02-01 12:28:36

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,883

Re: Milk

I'd be reluctant to call him a close friend. rolleyes
But thank you Stefy, for backing me up.


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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