Fortune's Guide to Movies:
G: No girl.
PG: The hero gets the girl.
R: The bad guy gets the girl, then the good guy gets the girl.
X: The hero still gets the girl in the end, but he's never sure
which end it will be.
XXX: Everybody gets the girl.
]]>'I have a hundred zlotys,' says the Pole. 'I can't decide what would be the safest thing to do with them.'
'Put them in the bank,' says the bank clerk.
'But what if the bank crashes?' says the Pole.
'If the bank crashes, then the bank administration guarantees to refund your money,' replies the clerk.
'Well, what if the administration goes bust?'
'Then the Polish Ministry of Finance guarantees to refold your money.'
'Well, what if the Ministry of Finance goes bust?'
'Then the Polish government guarantees to refund your money.'
'Well, what if the Polish government goes bankrupt?'
'Well, in that case the friendly Soviet Union guarantees the return of your money.'
'And what if the Soviet Union goes bankrupt?'
'You naughty, you don't mean to say that you'd begrudge a hundred zlotys for that?'
]]> _________________________________________
/ There once was a king who ruled his \
| country long, wisely, and well. The |
| king had a son whom he hoped would |
| someday rule the land. He also wished |
| in his heart that the son ould be wise |
| and compassionate. One day he said to |
| the prince: "If you promised that you |
| would give a certain woman anything, |
| even half of your kingdom, and then she |
| demanded the life of your best friend, |
| what would your decision be, my son?" |
| The young prince thought for a moment |
| and then said, "I would tell her that |
| she was my best friend, and cut her |
| head off." The king knew that his son |
\ would be a great king. /
-----------------------------------------
\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
[From the offensive section of Fortune]
]]>I took care of it.
]]>Jerry was atop a two-story building with a really large pot perched on the edge of the roof. There was
a ramp from the pot to the ground (a very steep ramp: slope > 10). Tom was setting on the ground
at the end of the ramp. Jerry pushed the pot off onto the ramp. Poor Tom! That was a real "High
Pot in Use!"
is Tom
is Jerry
You have a fine sense of humor though. You remind me of my mother, she would have said that too.
]]>The Everyday Math one is really good.
]]>And if your name is Polly then ...
]]>He was positively shocked.
]]>