a few girls have told me why

Really? What did they have to say?

Hi zetafunc

Those are fixable. What matters is that you have brains!

anonimnystefy wrote:

Hi zetafunc

Those are fixable. What matters is that you have brains!

I am trying to become more muscular but that is a slow process. Not sure how I'm supposed to change my height... (this is emphasized by the fact that the girl in question is taller than me, although she is tall for a girl). Don't really know how to fix my ugliness. Brains, everyone has brains, but I wish I had good ones.

By other things they just mentioned things that make me 'weird' in their eyes, and supposedly the average girls' eyes.

I don't know if I want to become a software giant... I mean, I may have a change of heart in the future but it doesn't seem like something I'd do... aren't there other options?

Here's an idea! Maybe one of the female members of this forum can help you! But that's gonna be tough because most of the regular visitors are guys.

Maybe we can direct some of the females of this forum to this thread and let them help you, but I think that ugliness is not very well defined. Those chicks that rejected you probably have high standards because they think a latino guy is just going to appear and fall in love with them.and for some other girls you will be beautiful because they aren't waiting for a miracle and just want a nice looking regular guy, like the other one's should as well.

All in all, I have seem the ugliest of people get married, so even if you are ugly (which I think you probably aren't) then you have got more chance than you think!

P.S. No part of this comment is am insult to anyone, so I hope you just don't get this post in the wrong way!

Where do you sere the kind gesture? All I is very true and I think I can get bobbym to confirm. With normal girls a guy's appearance will never be the reason she rejects him!

But I thought the guy had to be physically attractive in some way to the girl?

Do you think I should ask the girl who rejected me (the older one) why she rejected me, or should I not pester her anymore?

Yes, but women have a different definition of what beauty is.

I do not recommend asking her, most will not tell you the true reason. If they are all in the same crowd then most likely she is just bowing to peer pressure.

Hi;

They do seem a little rude. In my opinion none of them are particularly good prospects. You do not need to get your sense of worth from other people. Certainly other people's opinions are valuable as guideposts but you can not let those opinions undermine what you are.

Concentrate as always on improving yourself mentally, physically and spiritually. Perhaps a body-building regimen would help increase your confidence. It did for me. In my opinion you are a person of worth, start thinking of yourself in that way.

bobbym wrote:

Hi;

They do seem a little rude. In my opinion none of them are particularly good prospects. You do not need to get your sense of worth from other people. Certainly other people's opinions are valuable as guideposts but you can not let those opinions undermine what you are.

Concentrate as always on improving yourself mentally, physically and spiritually. Perhaps a body-building regimen would help increase your confidence. It did for me. In my opinion you are a person of worth, start thinking of yourself in that way.

Well, we've never actually hung out before so I don't think we're actually friends. We've really never spoken properly. I just find it a bit hard that I have to see her every day, usually within touching distance, and have to deal with that awkwardness when I'd really just like to hug her. I want to speak to her as a friend to get to know her... is this a bad thing, or will this just make me feel worse?

I keep telling myself that other people's opinions don't really matter, but I can't help but feel that I need to change something, e.g. what could I have done to the way I looked beforehand to increase the chance that she'd go out with me?

I don't body-build but I do occasionally go for a run to keep fit and just to clear my mind a bit but nothing intense as body-building. I might give that a try, I suppose.

bobbym wrote:

Hi;

It takes two to have a conversation except on a forum. If both girls are not reciprocating then they are treating you like a non person. That is cruel but quite common.

As a group they don't talk to me, but they do individually (if I talk to them). I'm not afraid to just go up to them and start talking but it's a bit harder to do that the larger the group they're in becomes.

bobbym wrote:

The answer, nothing! You did not make any mistake.

Come to think of it, I am not 100% sure that it was a rejection, though it felt like it. Do you think I should ask her for confirmation? Her response has been slightly ambiguous.

bobbym wrote:

I think you should do it only if you want to. Not for some girl. But a lot of guys do it to attract girls and it does work.

When you say body-building, what did you mean exactly? I don't have a lot of time to spare in my current routine. I have about a 30 to 45-minute period to exercise (which I currently use for that purpose) and about 4 hours of studying. Then I have to do some surveys for some companies for money and then my day is done, time to go to bed. There was one time that I started working out with weights in the hopes of getting a girl but then I just went back to my normal exercise routine which is usually just cardio. Unfortunately that just means I don't look fit, I just look skinny because I am not gaining any weight by doing it. I would be curious to learn how much of an important factor this is.

bobbym wrote:

You could change your attitude and then you will discover no change was necessary. So in a paradoxical way why change even your attitude?

But surely there must reach a point where I have to start changing something? For example, what if 6 rejections becomes 30 straight rejections? That would surely indicate some kind of problem...

As a group they don't talk to me, but they do individually

Sounds like peer pressure. When in the group the psychology of the pack, rules. The leader has decided to pick on you, to ostracize and berate you. The others may not want to singularly. But when in the group they are afraid to stand up to her. They follow her lead.

When you say body-building, what did you mean exactly?

Cardiovascular is fine when you have the physique you want. Weight training ( with weights ) is for people who have a poor body image of themselves. Usually, they are too skinny and would like to have muscles for dating and defense.

I would be curious to learn how much of an important factor this is.

How important? Women can be as goofy about looks as men are. A great body is an extreme attraction for all women. My results tripled when I started building up. Before that I had to chase them and it was very hard. Afterward, I never asked a girl out again, they asked me. Women are attracted to it and men are frightened of it. Do not get me wrong, this is extremely shallow on their part. Just a sad fact of our world that people can only see beauty on the outside.

But surely there must reach a point where I have to start changing something? For example, what if 6 rejections becomes 30 straight rejections? That would surely indicate some kind of problem...

It might, you have little confidence and it is wearing on your self esteem. To date girls you must be confident in yourself. Very confident, they sense weakness. Once you understand that men and women at the core are equal and very much alike then it will change for you.

Should I try again?

Only you can decide that.