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## #1 Re: Jokes » Mother-in-law joke » 2009-06-11 15:40:05

(1)-One gangster says to another:"I have a dream, I want to rob a bank and leave the fingerprints of my mother-in-law."

(2)-Q:"What to do if a tiger attacks a mother-in-law?
A:If he was the first to attack, let him defend himself on his own."

(3)-Q:Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with a newspaper?
A:Yes, if you wrap an iron in it.

(4)-Les Dawson:"I can always tell when the mother-in-law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps."

(5)-Les Dawson:"I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussard's Chamber of Horrors and one of the attendants said, 'keep her moving sir, we're stock-taking.'

(6)-Honolulu? Well, it's got everything: sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.---Ken Dodd

(7)-Ken Dodd:"I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don't wnt to interrupt."

(-H.L. Mencken:"Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

(9)-H.L. Mencken:"On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women."

(10)-A gentleman fresh out of gift ideas, bought his mother-in-law a large plot in an expensive cemetery. On her next birthday, he bought her nothing.
She was quick to comment loud and long on his thoughtlessness.
The gentleman said only one thing--"Well, you haven't used the gift I gave you last year."
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## #2 Re: Jokes » Pig Joke » 2009-06-11 15:38:11

I'm going on a work camp with students to an animal petting zoo next week & of course there will be pigs there.
I can feel a pig related joke session coming up but I don't know of any.
Are there any new ones going around?
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