* The owner of a company tells his employees:
You worked very hard this year. The company's profits increased dramatically.
As a reward, I 'll give everyone a check for $ 5000.
If you work with the same zeal next year, I'll sign those checks.
* 1st thief, "Police! Quick! jump out of the window!"
2nd thief, "But this is the 13th floor"
1st: "Hurry! This is no time to be superstitious"
* Eve to Adam: Do you love me?
Adam nonchalantly: Who else?
* A Girl: At weddings old aunts used to tease me saying "You are next, you are next."
But they stopped it since I started doing the same to them at funerals...! !
* Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."
why can't headlice drive?
Becuase don't have driving LICE-nse.
Why can't headlice drive in the night?
because they don't have HEAD lights (headlice)
What does father chistmas say when he's not bothered?
SO SO SO (ho ho ho)
what people who like sports and mint?
A custumor came in to a restraunt and said "what soup do you have."
Then the waiter replyed "pok pok pok (chicken noise)!"
Then the custumor said "oh goody chicken!"
The waiter said "no mushroom soup."
Then why did you do chicken noises.",said the custumor
"Because I can't do mushroom."
Then the custumor said " I hate mushroom."
"Suit yourself then I can't help you.",said the waiter
**** *** said the custumor and went away.
Beat that jokes:D