"ignore air resistance and friction, my eye. Teach me something I can actually use, and then I might be interested."

Friction is related to speed. This makes things very complicated, because friction changes the speed and the speed change the friction. This lead to differential equations such as:

3y' + 5y = cos(x), solve for y, and it can't be in terms of y'.

And that's a simple one! The problem with equations like this is it takes a full understanding of integrals and derivatives to solve (basic calculus). This is why they aren't taught at a high school level. But as soon as you get the advanced math, physics becomes frighteningly accurate (as well as difficult).