Ive seen that episode
]]>Just in hot off the press:
"Strange oil creatures are invading the US, intelligent petroleum beings spread ooze on local towns"
Believe it or not over 100 of these things, uhh I mean petroleum challenged entities have been seen emerging from the Gulf of Mexico. BP representative Earl Leeks, vehemently denied that the massive oil spill has anything to do with the entities. "We don't know where they come from, there is no reason to jump to conclusions. We at BP examine all the facts, even if that takes centuries, before we do anything. We don't hurry! Take the oil leak for instance, some other company would have tried something by now, that is not our way! Rome wasn't built in a day!"
Local residents claim that they are seen just wading ashore as if looking for something. Stopping in local bars, they seem to enjoy getting tanked up on Kentucky bourbon. Several locals have complained and fights have broken out. The Pres. has said that we should do everything possible to make our oily bretheren feel at home.
]]>How does one usually do it?
They used to just get Red Adair in, but there is a problem with that.
a) It's a mile underwater.
b) He's Dead!
With any luck he's working on a building site in Woking with Elvis. They can both make a comeback and save the Earth.
]]>http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100714/ap_ … _oil_spill
They now are putting their executive heads together with their much vaunted engineering dept. They have come up with the idea of constructing the worlds largest Stillson wrench along with the worlds largest screw cap. The wrench designed to tighten the cap is over 2 miles long and weighs almost as much as 10 aircraft carriers. The entire British navy will be needed to position the wrench while 11 American carriers will apply the torque. There was a great argument as to which way should the cap tighten, clockwise or counter-clockwise. BP refused to disclose which way saying that in this battle with the gusher, no information will be given away to the enemy.
A rival american firm who advocated using a snap on cap rather than a screw on was ridiculed by BP's top scientist. Here at BP we deal in reality not fantasy. Everyone knows that snap ons are unreliable. In addition our screw on cap is child proof.
Alternative plans devised by top scientists at Exxon and BP consist of developing the worlds largest and strongest prophylactic. Designed as a one size fits all and being 4 times larger than the Hindenburg it will not be ready till December of this year. That is why great hope is going into the Stillson wrench idea.
]]>Which fuel are we talking about?
]]>But air is not just O2, It contains N,CO2,CO, and the inert gases. Also there are a hundreds of pollutants in it in varying quantities. Some of them would also combust, producing other pollutants.
]]>P.S. That prior post would almost qualify for that fifth-glyph-in-all-words topic.
P.P.S. My post would qualify for that non-fifth-glyph topic.